


punch drunk love

by dearlyuta



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Romance, Slow Burn, Summer Vacation, chenle and yukhei are only mentioned, it's mostly 00line, there's some slight swearing in this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-07-18 14:07:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 26,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16120052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearlyuta/pseuds/dearlyuta
Summary: Jeno, for some reason, likes to mess up with Renjun's plans for summer.Like making Renjun fall completely, madly, and recklessly in love with him.





	punch drunk love

**Author's Note:**

> inspired from all those noren pics that the dreamies suddenly dropped one day. they gave off the summer vibes and i couldn't resist. anyway, i tried to proofread this as much as i can but there might still be mistakes so i'm sorry! i hope you enjoy reading!
> 
> title is taken from shinee's punch drunk love.

Summer loves aren't supposed to last.

They're supposed to be fleeting, laying on the tips of your fingers, ready to let it go once the sun goes down and the cold starts slipping through the cracks. It isn't meant to last — a love made out of summer paradises and the feeling of the permanent heat wave isn't ideal once the seasons start passing by.

Summer loves are supposed to be an escape. A temporary sort of happiness.

But Renjun, the ever romantic, doesn't believe in it.

He has always frowned at the concept of summer flings — he doesn't know how you'll even have the time to fall madly and recklessly in love with someone when you're too busy fanning out the heat from the house. Or when you're too busy letting the waves of the sea lap up on your body, the warmth of the sand beneath your feet as you watch the sunset.

He doesn't believe in it. He doesn't believe in temporary loves that come out of the feeling of shockingly cold water splashing on your body, laughing loudly with somebody who makes your heart feel like it'll just tip over the edge carelessly once you hear them laugh. He doesn't believe in temporary escapes that come from sitting on the grass, falling in love underneath the sun and the way soft sunlight hits the features of the person you love the most.

Because they're never made to last. Just a careless wave of feelings, ready to drown you under and never pull you up.

Renjun scoffs at the idea — it's idiotic in all the angles he sees the situation.

How stupid.

-

_DAY 001._

"Yes, mom, I already put on some sunscreen before I left the house," Renjun heaves an exhausted sigh, eyes rolling as he walks down the street with his backpack just carelessly slung over his shoulder while he drags his suitcase behind him. His mother continues to blabber on, scolding him over the smallest and most unnecessary things that Renjun has half of a mind to end the call. But he knows it himself that if he does that, his mother will raise hell and he doesn't want to risk getting kicked out.

He resolves to saying _yes, mom, I got it_ and _okay, can I go now?_ before his mother finally shuts off the call mid-way of him saying another round of mumbled agreement.

"Thank god," He finally lets out a sigh of relief at the sound of the click, tucking away his phone hurriedly in the pocket of his shorts. He hurries down the street, the smell of asphalt and the sound of his shoes hitting the pavement sound strangely familiar to him.

The heat is unbearable, in all honesty. Despite wearing such light clothing — a simple, light blue sleeveless shirt with a white blazer carelessly thrown over it and a pair of white shorts — the heat still hits his skin in such an uncomfortable manner. He can feel the beads of sweat forming, trailing down the nape of his neck and down his back, sending him into a sticky and uncomfortable state.

But even then, he can't find it in himself to complain at all. He has always loved summers, no matter how horrible the heat waves are. But he knows he'll certainly love this one because for the first time in four years, he'll once again meet Donghyuck, his childhood friend or also known as that one annoying elementary classmate who wouldn't stop bothering him until they became best friends.

To be fair, he has always been grateful that Donghyuck had the guts to annoy him so much like that. Honestly, he's the only person who can keep up with Renjun's mood changes and the only one who listens to him carefully whenever Renjun loses himself while talking animatedly about constellations and otherworldly beings that spark his interest.

Donghyuck, despite how loud he can be, is surprisingly quiet during these moments, his bright eyes have a certain glint of amusement and happiness while listening to his best friend talk about everything and nothing at the same time. He learned how to lock the information that Renjun feeds him endlessly in his head and he never forgets to bring them up all over again once they fall asleep underneath a blanket of stars in the night sky.

So, really, Donghyuck is, with absolutely no exaggeration here, the only person he would die for.

His breath gets stolen away as his cheeks get flushed, painting them into a subtle red tint as he gazes up at the majestic white house sitting in front of him. The number _45_ was embedded at the wall right next to the door, the smell of gold paint outlining the digits is fresh and still hanging in the stale air but Renjun doesn't mind. Everything about this street feels like home since he spent most of his childhood here, running around with water guns and constantly spraying Donghyuck with water, beating him in every game they had.

His gaze flickers over to the large white moving truck sitting by the driveway but he doesn't pay any heed to it, choosing to run by past it. He didn't tell Donghyuck that he'll be arriving today — he wanted to see the pleasant surprise etched on his best friend's face the moment he appears before him. He knows that the other boy will eagerly take him up in his arms, wrapping him in a tight, quite literally breathtaking embrace that ends up with either Donghyuck throwing a friendly insult or Renjun playfully hitting him.

His steps resound as he walks up the front porch, brightening up at the sight of the familiar brown wooden door. He presses on the doorbell, heart beating fast against his rib cage as he impatiently rolls his suitcase next to him while his hand uselessly tugs on the strap of his backpack. The door swings open and Renjun throws himself immediately at the boy, eager to get a hug.

Only it wasn't Donghyuck who catches him.

"Hey—"

"Hyuck—"

Their eyes meet and Renjun is knocked out breathless at the sight before him. A boy with light brown hair and striking dark brown eyes stare down at him with utmost confusion but as Renjun looks closer, he can see a glint of amusement flashing quickly. The boy has his arms wrapped firmly around Renjun's tinier frame and god, he doesn't know how possible it is that the taller male in front of him can look so ethereally beautiful.

"Oh," Renjun doesn't know what to do at all. Should he lay limp in his arms and pretend that he fainted? No, that's even more embarrassing. Should he just bolt straight into the house and find Donghyuck? Wait, why is a stranger like him even doing in his house—

"So, am I supposed to hold you like this for the rest of the day or..." The boy's voice rings through the air and it's really melodious, sweet. The kind of voice that Renjun hears over the radio when he can't fall asleep — it's soothing and calming enough for anyone to listen and fall asleep in a deep slumber because of how beautiful it is.

He doesn't even realize that his cheeks are burning but he's quick to sense the obvious amusement lying underneath the boy's tone. He raises his head and a pained groan rolls off his tongue when their foreheads knock against each other.

"I-I'm so sorry!" Renjun stutters, cursing under his breath afterwards as he scrambles to his feet, clearly distraught and embarrassed as he runs a hand down the side of his face, sensing the heat radiating off his skin. The brown-haired male gazes at him with his smile growing on the edges of his mouth, barely able to hold himself back as he takes the glass filled with iced tea from the table right near the door. Renjun lets his eyes flicker over the boy's form, hurriedly noting in his head that he's wearing a sleeveless black shirt and a pair of black shorts.

"It's fine," The amusement is still hanging at the edge of his voice but there's another emotion seeping through, "what are you doing here though? Is this a prank where you knock on people's doors and once they open it up, you jump straight into their arms?"

Renjun swallows thickly, watching the beads of water travel down the glass before he manages to snap back to reality, shaking himself out of the distraction.

"No!" He quickly replies, defensive as he raises his hands, "I swear, that was an accident."

"Sure, whatever you say." His voice is dripping with playfulness but despite how Renjun thinks how adorable and handsome the other boy is, he finds himself scowling. The heat must be getting to him — he can usually control his temper nowadays but right now, he wants to throw a punch at the boy's face.

"Where's Donghyuck?"

"Who?" The brown-haired male answers back, eyebrows furrowing in confusion as he tilts his head to the side. He almost looks like an adorable puppy and Renjun hates that his heart almost melted.

Keyword: Almost.

Renjun glares at him, the heat suddenly scorching hot on his back as the sweat starts forming on his skin. It's unbelievably hot and Renjun can't remember the last time that summers became unbearably hot like this.

"Donghyuck. Lee Donghyuck?"

"I'm sorry," Jeno says slowly, stretching out the syllables. He's suddenly uneasy based on the way he nervously shifts from one foot to another before he puts down his iced tea once again.

"There's no Lee Donghyuck here. I actually just moved in here today." He gestures to the moving truck by the driveway, growing a little wary of Renjun's presence.

Renjun clenches his jaw, moving away slightly to crane his neck, eyeing the house number. The number _45_ with gold paint stands out from the white wall of the house, a bright contrast from the dull, normal color of the building. His gaze flies back to the boy, eyes finally narrowed in suspicion.

"Hey, seriously, where is Hyuck? Is that little shit trying to prank me?" He doesn't even know what he's doing — one second, he's standing right in front of the male and the next second, he's trying to see over the other boy's shoulder whilst moving as close as he can, frowning deeply at the unfamiliar furniture set out in the living room.

"What the hell are you—"

"Injun?" A familiar voice hangs in the air and Renjun whips his head over the direction of the voice. Donghyuck is standing there, wearing a loose white shirt with a black cap that Renjun instantly recognizes as one of the gifts he gave to his friend before he moved away.

"Hyuck!" There's a mix of emotions bubbling in him — both excitement from seeing an old friend and annoyance because of the (cute) boy standing by the door, completely confused yet he's also sporting on a look of frustration with a hint of mild amusement.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry." Donghyuck immediately responds, walking over to the front porch to where the two of them are standing. His fingers wrap themselves around Renjun's thin wrist, subtly tugging on it until the older boy gets the message, huffing loudly as he goes behind the sun-kissed boy to hide himself.

"We're so sorry for disturbing you." Donghyuck continues speaking, throwing a stern look at Renjun before throwing another apologetic smile at the boy standing by the door. Renjun wants to cut in but he's too annoyed, due to the heat becoming overbearing again.

"It's fine, just tell your friend not to knock at doors and throw himself at random strangers early in the morning." The brown-haired male responds nonchalantly but that's enough for Renjun to want to go over and throw a punch. Thankfully, Donghyuck has a tight grip on him and leads him away after apologizing profusely again.

They watch as the boy waves at them dismissively before shutting the door quietly, leaving the two of them standing out in the middle of the sidewalk, the heat pressing down on them. Renjun's mind starts to rewire, feeling a little lightheaded after the interaction — he doesn't know whether he should embrace Donghyuck first or tell him about how cute— well, annoying his neighbor is.

"I—" He's cut off when Donghyuck starts dragging him mindlessly, his backpack hitting his shoulder and side uncomfortably while he attempts to balance the suitcase he's carrying. He shuts his mouth, feeling guilty as he lets the tanned boy drag him up to the next house, swinging the front door open and drag him inside.

Though the air conditioning unit is on, Renjun can still feel the heat plastering itself outside the house, overbearing and uncomfortable at the same time. He follows Donghyuck's footsteps up the stairs before he takes a sharp turn to his right once they reach the top. He trails behind him, dropping his bags by the door once they stepped inside. Fortunately, it's a little cooler in here compared to the rest of the house so Renjun greedily lets himself indulge in the cold air, choosing to take a seat on the edge of the bed.

"So, Huang Renjun, what do you have to say for yourself?" Donghyuck stands in front of him, gaze narrowing into slits. Renjun stares at him, cheeks starting to get flushed as he recalls the earlier interaction that happened.

"Um, your new neighbor is cute?"

Donghyuck looks beyond offended, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Is that all?!" It takes a moment before Renjun catches on, eliciting a loud laugh as he stands up from the bed, his arms circling around the other boy's frame to embrace him tightly. Donghyuck visibly huffs but he returns the gesture, arms winding around the smaller boy's waist to pull him in.

"I missed you." Donghyuck pretends to gag and even though Renjun can't see him, he knows that the younger boy is rolling his eyes.

"Gross."

"I was away for so many years and this is what you say to me once I get back?"

"Sorry," Donghyuck breaks away from the embrace, still pretending to gag, "I might, you know, throw up if I say I miss you too."

Renjun gives him a completely unamused stare.

"You just said it."

"... Oh, you're right." Renjun huffs and chooses to take his seat on the edge of the bed. His gaze momentarily travels over to the window, which faces the house that he technically tried to trespass a moment ago.

"Hey," Renjun gestures to the house sitting next to them and gazes at Donghyuck with knitted brows, "didn't you used to live in that house?"

"Yeah, but we sold the house. We moved somewhere else for a year but mom hated it so much so we tried moving back to this neighborhood. Surprisingly, our old neighbors were selling this house and mom just went and ate up the low price. We've been living here for like, two years already?"

"And you didn't even bother telling me your new address?" Renjun deadpans and Donghyuck throws him a look, a frown forming on the edges of his mouth.

"Hey, I did! While you, mister," He jabs a thumb over to Renjun, who remains sitting there with a neutral expression, "didn't bother to respond to my messages."

Donghyuck starts sulking, bottom lip jutting out to resemble a pout. Renjun's bad mood seems to dissipate almost immediately at the sight of him pouting, bursting into a fit of loud laughter whilst he clutches his stomach, the sound resounding within the four walls of the bedroom.

"Oh god, please don't do that. You look so ugly."

"Wow, I really can't believe that years later, you still bully me like this." Renjun simply shrugs his shoulders innocently, a wide smile gracing his lips. For a moment, his gaze flickers over to the window, his breath getting stuck in his throat as the memory of the boy flashing an amused smile at him slams down on him. For some reason, he can't get rid of the feeling rushing through his veins — he's kind of attracted to him, even though he was temporarily annoyed at him a while ago. He seems rather... drawn to him, something about him makes him want to learn more and more about the mysterious cute boy living next door.

"Your neighbor is really cute." The words roll off his tongue easily and he didn't even realize what he said until he sees the way Donghyuck widens his eyes at him, clearly surprised.

"Did I hear that right? Did Huang Renjun just acknowledged a boy's existence twice? And even complimented his good looks? What happened to my precious Renjun while he was in China?" Renjun scowls for a second before he turns his head to face the window instead. Maybe if he didn't make a fool out of himself a while ago, he wouldn't lose the remaining courage he has but now, he just wants to burrow himself deep within the covers.

"Shut up, can't I admire other people?"

"Well, if that's the case then you're free to admire me and my good looks! No need to ogle my neighbor!"

"Ugh, shut up." Renjun falls back on the mattress, covering his eyes with his arm. The heat feels more like a gentle caress on his skin but it seems to intensify as the memory of that boy's smile and the sound of his melodious voice echo in his head, a reminder of how his heart actually has the capability to feel a little more than what he actually used to think. The heat crawls up to his neck, his cheeks turning bright red as an inaudible chuckle escapes his lips.

God, he doesn't even know why he feels giddy over this.

"Injunnie, come here." He snaps out of his daydream, head spinning already from drawing out ridiculous fantasies in his mind. Donghyuck has somehow situated himself near the window, peering through the blinds carefully.

"Not now."

"I'm serious, come on."

"Ugh, don't."

"It's about your cute boy!"

Renjun perks up almost immediately, eyes wide. The heat feels more and more familiar on his cheeks so he doesn't do anything to will it away, choosing to just hurriedly stand on his feet and run over to the window. He hastily pulls up the blinds, temporarily exposing themselves to the harsh sunlight.

"What the hell, Injun!" He pointedly ignores his friend, eyes adjusting before his gaze searches for any sort of familiar light brown hair.

When he does spot him, his breath gets caught in his throat as his heart spins out of control. Every time he breathes, his chest constricts a little, hurting him but he doesn't care — everything seems to have fallen away when he sees the other boy standing in his yard.

His heart races uncontrollably at the sight of him tipping his head backward, hair getting caught in the flash of sunlight and he looks so, so beautiful laughing carelessly like that. A flash of pink hair appears in his line of vision, immediately sensing the cute boy has a friend with him.

Renjun isn't that disappointed when he realized that the brown-haired male also seemed to have traded his black sleeveless shirt and black shorts for a white shirt with a brown blazer hanging over it and white ripped pants, skateboard tucked at his side before he drops it on the ground.

"Oh, a skater boy. Do you think he's one of those typical skater boys who are dumb as hell? Because if he is, I'll be disappointed but not surprised." Renjun suppresses the urge to naturally roll his eyes but he couldn't help himself.

"Don't be so mean, Hyuck."

"Hey, it was a simple observation!" Donghyuck raises his hands in defense, a stretch of silence echoing within the walls of the room before he speaks up again, "besides, you can be meaner than me."

Renjun scoffs at his words, "Me? Mean? Not true."

Donghyuck imitates him perfectly, paired with his eyes rolling, "You? Not mean? Not true."

"Hey, I'm not mean!"

"Says the boy who called me ugly when we first met and made me cry." Renjun can't really help but snort at the newfound memory, barely able to mask his resounding laughter.

"We were six years old, Hyuck. You know that children can be brutally blunt — they're like little devils."

"Yeah, unfortunately for me, you're like the devil's son." This time, Renjun elicits a loud laugh, shaking his head as he switches his attention back to the two boys on the front yard. The brown-haired male laughs once again and even though Renjun is quite far to see it, he can see the traces of a lingering smile on his lips as his heel hits the back of his skateboard, getting on it and expertly rides it down the street. His pink-haired friend trails behind with his own skateboard not too long after.

Renjun can't help but feel something tug at his heartstrings, just barely as he sees another flash of smile on the brown-haired boy's face before he disappears down the street.

-

_DAY 002._

The heat is, as Donghyuck said, _fucking_ _horrible._

("It's like the devil decided to make this a goddamn living hell. And you know what's worse?"

"What?"

"He brought his son along with him to torment me."

"Are you calling me hot now?"

"Oh, fuck you.")

Renjun, despite just getting out of the shower a few minutes ago, can feel the beads of sweat already forming on his skin. They roll down on the nape of his neck and a thin line of sweat has already formed down his face. Donghyuck already made an attempt to crank up the air-conditioning unit but even then, the heat outside is stifling and uncomfortable to the point that Renjun can feel it pressing down on his body right now.

He throws himself on the bed, sheets crumpled underneath the impact. He rolls his eyes at the sound of Donghyuck complaining as he tries to fan out the heat, desperately trying to find a way to cool off. He considers the idea of crawling back to the shower and fall asleep there while the cold water pours down on him but he knows that he'll end up sick and feel even more horrible compared to now.

Renjun lets his gaze travel to the window again, seeing the sunlight stream through the blinds. He made up half of his mind to get up and pull up the blinds so he can see the other house clearly but he knows Donghyuck is capable of possibly beating him up. He's too uncomfortable and sweaty to even try and fight back so he knows it's an automatic loss for him.

"Hey, Hyuck," His voice comes out scratchy and hoarse, a groan leaving past his lips in between to display his annoyance, "have you greeted your new neighbor already?"

Donghyuck stops fanning himself with a cardboard, choosing to stay near the air-conditioning unit to cool himself off even more. He throws a completely unamused stare at his friend.

"Yesterday was the very first time I ever came up to him and said hi. Unfortunately, I had to do it by apologizing to him because you attempted to trespass their house," Renjun cringes as the memory plays out perfectly in his head, scene by scene passing by in his mind, reliving the embarrassment.

"You know, I was really hoping that I would just greet him normally like, I don't know, give some cookies to his family to welcome them to the neighborhood. But now, they probably think we're weirdos."

"Hey, I wasn't going to trespass them!"

"Sure, whatever you say." Renjun scowls at him in response but Donghyuck only sports on a wide smile, clearly enjoying his reaction as he grabs the juice box sitting on the desk, taking a sip from the straw to refresh himself.

Renjun's gaze flickers back to the window, lingering too long on it that he didn't even realize that he already jumped to his feet to approach it. He steals a peek through the blinds and he swallows thickly, squinting through the blindingly bright light to focus his eyes on the house.

"Why are you asking about my neighbor again? I mean, I get it, he looks handsome and all that but hello? Did you forget that a whole Lee Donghyuck exists?" Renjun seems to have developed a habit of rolling his eyes every time Donghyuck opens his mouth and today is not an exception.

"You know what, I suddenly changed my mind. I think I should fly back to China now."

"You're not fooling anyone, Injunnie. We both know you'll miss me the moment you step out of this house."

"Not true." Renjun says with no real bite in his tone, clearly dissatisfied over the fact that Donghyuck is actually right. Even if he gets booked with a flight tonight, his mother won't be able to drag him out of the house without him throwing a big fuss.

"Anyway, I just think that we should welcome him to the neighborhood? Make friends with him!" Renjun smoothly swerves back to the topic at hand and Donghyuck snorts in response, narrowed gaze directed to the house.

"He looks like he's already comfortable here though."

"Oh, come on!" A whine rips out of his throat but Renjun doesn't bother to acknowledge it, sulking as he juts out his lower lip, "We should be friends with him! He looks like he's around the same age as us."

Donghyuck stops sipping on his juice box, eyes wide before he faces Renjun, gaze narrowed once more in suspicion before he arches a brow in curiosity.

"Oh please, you aren't the type of person who does that. Unless you want his number." Renjun doesn't speak, cheeks and the tip of his ears only turning red as the embarrassment creeps in through his face. Donghyuck completely halts all his actions by then, dropping the juice box before he jumps to his feet, the excitement evident all over his features.

"Oh," Donghyuck has that annoying wide grin that Renjun hates to the core because he knows that Donghyuck found one of his weaknesses again, "holy shit. You do have a crush on him."

"Shut up."

"This is amazing. Come on!"

"What?" Renjun throws him a look of confusion as Donghyuck slips into his shoes, tugging on Renjun's loose white shirt to drag him out of the room. The heat comes slapping them hard the moment the door swings open but Donghyuck doesn't seem to mind — eagerly dragging him down the stairs and straight to the kitchen.

"My mom left us a tray of cookies to give to them. She told me to hand it to them once they arrive but as you know, you tried to trespass them—"

"I told you, I didn't do that!"

"Anyway, I'm sure your cute boy will be swooning over you once he tastes these." Donghyuck holds up a plastic bag filled with cookies and Renjun swallows thickly, eyes fleeting as he gazes at Donghyuck's eager expression then to the kitchen counter.

It wouldn't hurt to try again, right?

-

Renjun didn't know that he would take the whole __I would die for you, Donghyuck__ thing back so quickly.

To be fair, Donghyuck plans are always terrible, destined to fail so Renjun doesn't know why he decided on out of all days, he thought that Donghyuck's plan is easy and smooth — just hand the plastic bag with cookies to the neighbor and coolly try to ask him out.

Or not.

The moment they stepped out on the street, their shoes feel hot and their feet are already burning even though they just crossed the space between the two porches of the houses. His bangs are sticking uncomfortably to his forehead, matted with sweat but surprisingly, Donghyuck doesn't look like he has even a thin layer of sweat on any visible part of his body.

So unfair.

"Why the hell is it so hot today?" Renjun complains, the heat wave is completely uncomfortable and unbearable — he can't even imagine anyone wanting to step out of their air-conditioned houses and literally take a ride down hell. Donghyuck rolls his eyes as he goes up to the porch, an excited bounce in his steps.

"Oh, come on. You're exaggerating."

"I'm not!" Renjun huffs loudly but Donghyuck doesn't seem to care anymore, eagerly pressing down on the doorbell even before Renjun can attempt to clean himself up. He regrets the decision of wearing a loose shirt in this kind of weather so really, it's quite his own fault.

The door swings open the moment Renjun reaches the front, barely missing it by an inch as he steps back with a yelp. The door opens wider and a blast of cold air hits them in the face, such a refreshing change of atmosphere compared to the literal hell they're living in right now.

"Oh, hey," Renjun stiffens up almost immediately, a flash of brown hair and coming into his view. The taller boy stands by the doorway, hair falling over his eyes while his friend with pink hair stands by the entrance, blocking out any gust of air that might slip out. He can't even describe the way his stomach drops and his heart jumps out of his chest as he sees the familiar smile gracing the brown-haired boy's lips, eyes crinkling.

"Hey, Jeno, look! It's that cute boy you were talking about!" The pink-haired boy points out, a charming smile curving on his lips, beautiful enough that anyone would swoon at the sight of it.

Renjun is stunned at his words, body freezing up.

His head didn't get to register immediately the way the brown-haired boy (which he thinks is named Jeno) suddenly clasps his hand over his friend's mouth, smile turning into an embarrassed one. He tries to push him out of the way while his friend laughs, trying to push his hand away while he struggles to speak again, probably further embarrassing him.

"Cute boy, huh?" Donghyuck has that familiar mischievous smile playing on his lips, eyebrows raising knowingly at Renjun. He frowns at him deeply, eyes narrowed into a glare but Donghyuck is already ignoring him at that point.

"Yeah! Jeno calls him that cute boy who fell in love— I mean, fell in his arms yesterday." Jeno's cheeks are painted with red tint, obviously embarrassed at the words coming out of his friend's mouth.

"Shut up, Nana."

"Interesting," Donghyuck opens his mouth to say more but Renjun is throwing intense glares at his direction, enough that Donghyuck actually backed down with a huff.

"Anyway, we're just welcoming you to the neighborhood! My name is Donghyuck and he's Renjun. His number, by the way, if you ever want to hit him up is—" Donghyuck elicits a muffled yelp as Renjun slaps a hand over his mouth, silencing the next words and numbers that might slip past his lips.

The pink-haired boy can barely hold himself back from grinning and laughing carelessly, leaning on the other side of the doorway.

"I think Jeno here would love to have his number," He jabs his thumb over at the brown-haired blushing boy, a mischievous glint flashing in his bright, twinkling eyes, "anyway, the name is Jaemin."

"Great to meet you, guys. We're just a house away if you ever need us! Or if Jeno here wants a date with Renjun." Renjun can't even form the words to either retort him or express his embarrassment, choosing to keep his lips in a thin line, cheeks burning. Jeno looks like he's in the same state — battling with himself to say something or stay quiet for the sake of not accidentally embarrassing himself further.

"Come on, let's go home." Donghyuck arches a brow at Renjun, a knowing smile gracing his lips with his voice dripping with playfulness. Renjun hesitates before he has a burst of courage, holding out his hand at Jeno. The boy looks at him with a scrutinizing gaze, scrunching his nose in the most adorable way that makes Renjun's heart flutter crazily beneath his rib cage.

"I'll save my number on your phone," Jeno splutters, words barely incoherent before he hastily brings his phone out of his pocket, almost dropping it due to his hurried manner. Renjun has to let his teeth catch on his lower lip to hold back his echoing laughter.

He grabs the gadget, quickly punching in his number and saves it under his name, handing it back in the most confident manner that he can do. Jeno seems pleasantly surprised, eyes twinkling and Renjun swears his heart dropped at the sight of the familiar gorgeous smile that graces his lips.

"I'll talk to you later!" Renjun suddenly says, already running away from the front porch as his face burns, the embarrassment settling in. He can't hear what the two boys said in reply but it doesn't matter anymore — at least he doesn't have to face them now.

Donghyuck rushes up to him, a grin playing on his lips as he runs a hand through the strands of his hair.

"Hey, aren't I the best wingman?"

"You're horrible," Renjun replies dryly but still, he's a little grateful that Donghyuck is around because honestly, he would have collapsed due to the amount of nervousness pressing down on him. Being around Jeno seemed to have triggered a trail of emotions in his veins, bursting all the same time and Renjun still isn't sure if he likes it.

(That night, after another round of fighting with Donghyuck on who gets to shower first despite the fact that there are at least four bathrooms in the house, Renjun lays down on the bed in the guest room, completely exhausted from today's events.

The air is cool and Renjun lets himself relax, the thoughts in his head that continuously spun around are starting to slow down until they became a mindless blur of conversations and interactions. He almost fell asleep at that moment if it wasn't for the sudden _ping!_ coming from his phone.

His eyes flutter open, fingers gripping around the gadgets as he looks through his messages. The most recent one, just a minute ago, lays unread at the top and he shakily clicks on the contact, saving the number immediately under the name _Jeno_ after before going back to read the message.

 **Jeno [22:36]:** not sure if you're still awake but good night! i hope we can talk more in the morning. :)

Renjun can't stop smiling after that.)

-

_DAY 005._

Renjun has resolved to curl up in his sheets, favoring the cold weather that settled in for today. He complained to Donghyuck a moment ago that it was too hot to go out but honestly, he just didn't want to talk a walk outside, risking the fact that it might be too humid later on and cause him to be irritated.

Donghyuck took the hint and called up Jeno's friend, Jaemin, instead, playfully complaining that _my best friend is abandoning me for that cute friend of yours! How are you going to replace my best friend now?_

Surprisingly, Jaemin volunteered to take Donghyuck out to go shopping for vinyl records at a nearby vinyl shop, causing Donghyuck to race out of the house with a quick _goodbye_ thrown carelessly at Renjun.

His phone beeps, alerting him of a new message. He's swift to snatch it from the top of the drawers, scrolling through the thread of messages with a grin playing on his lips.

 **Jeno [13:16]:** renjun renjun renjun  
**Jeno [13:17]:** are you awake?  
**Renjun [13:19]:** it's 1pm, of course i'll be awake  
**Jeno [13:20]:** oh, that's good! i'm bored TAT do you want to do something together?

"What the hell," Renjun stares at the message, heart fluttering beneath his rib cage. The emoji that Jeno used is adorable, enough to make him smile so widely at his screen. He has to physically grab hold of the pillow next to him and squeal into it, heart beating even faster now.

He has to take a whole minute to calm himself down, a smile still playing on the edges of his lips as he types a reply up.

 **Renjun [13:23]:** i would but hyuck is already complaining that you're taking me away from him :(  
**Jeno [13:24]:** really? he did?  
**Jeno [13:26]:** oh well, he took my best friend too!  
**Jeno [13:28]:** i'm going to steal you away from him

"Oh my god," Renjun voices out, his knees unknowingly going weak. He kind of hates that every text that comes from Jeno can make him feel too many emotions at once, it's so ridiculous.

 **Renjun [13:31]:** please do  
**Jeno [13:33]:** do you want to go on a date with me soon? :)

His hands won't stop shaking and his heartbeat starts going out of control again, its fast pace makes Renjun feel like he just drank at least five cups of coffee. His cheeks are once again burning as he types up a reply.

He almost drops his phone when he gets a reply at the exact time he sends his message.

 **Renjun [13:34]:** sure i would love to go on a date with you  
**Jeno [13:34]:** shit, i meant, let's hang out?

"Hang out? Is he kidding me? Did he just friendzone me—" Renjun gets cut off when another beep echoes from his phone.

 **Jeno [13:35]:** i mean, yes, let's go on a date soon :)

Renjun can't find it in himself to stop grinning at his phone, his heart beating so fast.

-

 _DAY 007_.

 **Renjun [16:27]:** hey, jeno  
**Renjun [16:27]:** we're still going on that date, right?  
**Jeno [17:21]:** sorry for the late reply!  
**Jeno [17:22]:** of course, let's do it next week?  
**Renjun [17:35]:** okay, i can't wait :)  
**Jeno [17:36]:** me too, i'm sure that i would be swooning over you once i see you :)  
**Jeno [17:46]:** shit, wrong send, i meant that for my cat  
**Renjun [17:48]:** it took you ten minutes to figure that out?  
**Jeno [17:49]:** please don't point it out i'm embarrassed TAT

"God, Renjun, can you stop smiling at your phone? It's been two hours and you're creeping me out."

"Shut up, Hyuck."

-

_DAY 014._

**Jeno [08:15]:** hey, good morning!  
**Jeno [08:16]:** i hope you have a day as lovely as yourself  
**Jeno [08:18]:** don't forget to eat all your meals and stay hydrated, okay? :)

Renjun can't stop himself from smiling, toothbrush stuck in his mouth as he reads through the chain of messages. The subtle tug on his heartstrings seem all too familiar nowadays to him that he doesn't blink an eye at the rush of feelings traveling through his veins anymore.

He towels off his hair, the wet strands sticking to his forehead as he walks out of the bathroom with a huff. He can smell the pancakes down the kitchen and he hurries down the stairs all too excitedly, steps resounding against the wood as he makes his way to the kitchen.

Another _ping!_ resounds from his phone the moment he stepped inside, catching Donghyuck's attention almost immediately. He made up half of his mind to throw his phone down at the table, not bothering to check the message just so he can prove to his best friend that he's not as interested as he's actually letting on.

But curiosity is killing him so his thumb scrolls through the thread of messages, another smile gracing the corners of his lips.

 **Jeno [08:23]:** oh no, i hope i didn't accidentally wake you up :( i'm really sorry!

Renjun elicits a laugh at that and Donghyuck throws him a suspicious glance though he ignores it pointedly, typing up a reply in a swift manner. He hits the send button without hesitation before he nonchalantly drops on his seat with an innocent grin directed at Donghyuck.

 **Renjun [08:24]:** it's okay, i've been awake for a while now. good morning! :)

"Wow, at this point, I thought you two would have skipped the whole friendly smiley emojis and just go straight to send all those cute heart emojis in every single message," Donghyuck steals a peek at Renjun's messages and the latter blushes hard, hiding the screen by overturning the gadget so the screen is facing down, "but at least you two are flirting, even though you two are horrible at it."

"We're not flirting. This is—"

"Just him being friendly!" Donghyuck mocks him, trying and failing to imitate the tone of his voice before he crosses his arms over his chest and switching back to his natural voice, "If he's really friendly then how come I don't get any good morning messages from him?"

"That's because you get them from Jaemin instead." Renjun dryly replies and Donghyuck looks like he got caught off-guard with the sudden revelation of the truth that he ends up stuttering, covering up his mistake.

"We're just friends!"

"We're just friends!" Renjun copies him, making his voice higher for exaggeration before he erupts into a fit of laughter, cutting off a part of his pancake and shoving it in his mouth as he chews on it thoughtfully. Donghyuck has resolved to sulking, putting down the last pancake on the plate before he takes a seat to finally start on his breakfast.

"Hey, it's been a while since you two started texting," Donghyuck shoves a mouthful of pancake his mouth, humming in delight at the taste, "did he ask you out on a date already?"

Renjun stiffens up at the question, fork poking through the soft pancake before the heat crawls to his neck and cheeks as his thoughts start spinning in his head again.

Honestly, even if Renjun has a crush on Jeno, he never really acted on it. He has always thought that it would just pass by, a rather heart-fluttering kind of infatuation on the brown-haired boy. So far, all he knows is that there's that familiar tug on his heartstrings every time he reads Jeno's messages late at night, their nightly deep thoughts collapsing on one another until they become a tangled mess, left to burn once the dawn rises up.

"No," He hesitantly replies, eyes dropping to the pancakes set out before him before his cheeks color themselves in bright red tint to display his embarrassment, "not yet."

"Seriously? He's been texting you for like, what, two weeks now?"

Renjun wants to take it back, feeling guilty for what he said but honestly, for some reason, he's afraid of calling this as a date. Jeno corrected himself before as a hang-out but he got caught red-handed so he just ended up calling it as a date too.

Well, it's not like he thinks of Jeno as anything other than a friend. He isn't interested in Jeno like that. He's just a friend.

Yes, he's just a friend. Nothing more.

He kind of also needs to work harder in convincing himself that his thoughts are the truth next time.

-

_DAY 024._

Having a crush on your neighbor doesn't really guarantee that you'll be able to see them as much as your heart desires. It kind of sucks, seeing the summer days pass by painfully slow, the texts coming in much less frequent as he hoped for. It doesn't help that he does look out of his window too many in a single day yet he rarely catches Jeno on time. There are moments when he comes bustling out of the door, running down the street early in the morning and come back late at night.

Renjun is also a little ashamed over the fact that he did try visiting him but all he sees is either Jaemin hanging around or Jeno's parents that seem to rarely come around though as far as he knows, they're all sweet and welcoming. Jaemin had tried to make him stay over so he can see Jeno several times but Renjun is too embarrassed and shy, choosing to run away from the door most of the time.

It's not like he's expecting anything out of it — like he said, Jeno is simply a friend. It's still normal to feel disappointed that Jeno barely has the time to get back to his text messages, much less take him out on a "friend date", a term that he apparently tried to use that caused Donghyuck to call him _a fucking idiot sandwich._

Still, every beep that comes from his phone, his heart wishes that it's from Jeno. It's been days since they had a proper conversation — not just those good morning and good night texts.

"Hey, Injun, do you want to join me and Jaemin for ice cream?" Donghyuck calls out, pulling on his jeans while Renjun remains motionless on his bed, facedown. His thoughts are still a tangled mess and he's given up trying to separate them into a coherent trail of statements.

"No," He doesn't want to sound bitter because Jaemin and Donghyuck seem to be getting along so well — he's honestly happy for them if they ever hit it off and start dating in the near future. He just kind of wishes that Jeno would take him out on a date too. He'll even take the whole feeding each other with ice cream even though that kind of thing makes him want to cringe and back away.

_Not a date, stupid. Just a hang-out._

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Okay," He feels a warm hand down his back and he heaves a sigh, feeling a little bit of the disappointment slide off his shoulders. Donghyuck has always made him feel better with a tight embrace or a sweet smile.

"I'll just bring back some ice cream for you."

"Yes, please." There's a soft _okay_ coming from the other boy before he elicits a chuckle, footsteps fading away as he shuts the door behind him to go down the stairs. For a second, he contemplates getting up and chasing after them especially since a sweet treat like that would be a relief after experiencing such a humid weather. But he gives up entirely on the decision halfway through getting up from the sheets, grumbling lowly as he rests on his back again, the dull white ceiling staring back at him.

He would have drifted off into an unexpected nap if not for the familiar beep from his phone, alerting him of a new message. He desperately burns the hope that buried itself within the spaces of his rib, just enough hope to make his heart flutter and expect just a little bit.

He's kind of grateful for that tiny hope that lodged itself in his chest, his heart going out of control.

 **Jeno [14:21]:** renjun  
**Jeno [14:21]:** i miss you so much  
**Jeno [14:23]:** oh shit, sorry  
**Jeno [14:24]:** i didn't mean to come off as clingy but :( i miss talking to you

Renjun has to clench his fist around a pillow again, hiding the smile that formed on the corners of his lips as he struggles to type up his reply with shaky fingers.

 **Renjun [14:27]:** jeno hey  
**Renjun [14:27]:** i missed you too  
**Jeno [14:29]:** you did?

 _ _ _Yes, you fucking idiot. I missed you so much.___ Renjun screams into his pillow, chest constricting a little every time he lets out a deep breath. His heart is going wild — begging and begging to be let out and allow the emotions to burst but no, he isn't ready for that. Not yet, at least.

 **Renjun [14:30]:** sure. i kind of did.  
**Jeno [14:33]:** can i take you out on a date today?

He stares at the message, eyes taking apart every letter and every word until they form back into the same question posed to him on the screen. His hands shake even harder, concentrating hard to not let any mistakes pop out on his message.

 **Renjun [14:35]:** sure, that'd be nice  
**Jeno [14:36]:** great! be ready in five, i'll pick you up!

Renjun drops his phone, jumping out of his bed and takes a look at his outfit. The shirt is a little crumpled after all the turning and tossing he did a moment ago and his pants seem ruined, a stain at the side. He wants to change into something nicer, something that would impress Jeno but the doorbell is already ringing downstairs.

Damn it, he really hates having a crush on his neighbor.

He races out of the room and down the stairs, nearly stumbling at the last step due to his enthusiasm and clumsiness, reaching the door just seconds after and swings it open. Jeno is wearing a simple blue button-up shirt, brown hair falling over his eyes, which are crinkled as he grins. Renjun would be straight out lying if he said that his heart didn't stumble and fall because of him.

"Junnie," Jeno starts to say before a blush creeps to his cheeks, coughing to cover his embarrassment, '"I can call you that, right?"

"Definitely, I'm fine with anything." Jeno's gorgeous smile curves on the edges of his mouth again and Renjun swoons immediately, not even holding himself back as he smiles widely.

"Let's go?" Renjun takes a deep breath, gaze lingering on Jeno's fingers. He braves himself, gathering every bit of courage burning within him as he reaches out to intertwine their fingers together. Jeno's hand fits so, so nicely with his and he can't help but feel like they're meant to hold hands like this.

"Okay, let's go."

When he meets Jeno's eyes, he swears he can see stars twinkling incredibly bright — so, so bright that Renjun is sure that the he can outshine the sun in a second.

-

Renjun learns two things in a span of almost five hours outside with Jeno:

1\. Jeno is terrible at surprises and,  
2\. It doesn't take too long before anyone can realize that Jeno is indeed easy to love.

 _EXHIBIT 1: SURPRISES_.

"Where are you taking me?" Renjun voices out, subtly pressing himself against Jeno's side. He can feel the younger boy squeeze his fingers, just very lightly but noticeable enough for his cheeks to turn bright red — he promptly blames that on the heat coming from the sun.

"It's a secret." Jeno's eyes are crinkling again, the way they always do when he's smiling so wide and Renjun can feel his heart jump up to his throat, drop down to his stomach, swerving in every direction that makes him feel breathless. He ends up opening his mouth before shutting it again, too embarrassed to say anything as he lets Jeno pull him along.

His head is spinning from too many thoughts flooding his mind — from the way Jeno seems to squeeze his hand every now and then when he feels like Renjun is slowly pulling his fingers out of his grip. The way Jeno tries to steal a glance every now and then, smiling before he looks away too quickly that Renjun has to blink fast and wonder if he really saw that. For some reason, everything that Jeno does is taking a toll on his poor heart, wrecking itself against the spaces of his rib cages, trying to squeeze itself out of his chest so the emotions can burst within his veins.

The sun is bright, so bright that Renjun has to squint just a little to see through the park. Jeno is eager based from the tiny bounce in his steps as he drags the older boy along the grass, crunching it a little as the soles of their shoes hit it. Renjun can feel his heart ready to skyrocket out of his chest when Jeno directs him to a hill, pulling him underneath the shade of a tree.

"Wait here," The nervousness is evident at the edge of Jeno's voice and if Renjun ever missed it, he'll still see the way the other boy's hands shake a little as he takes a blindfold out of his pocket. Renjun's cheeks are burning when Jeno goes behind him, his fingers brushing very subtly and lightly against Renjun's reddened cheeks before he carefully wraps the blindfold around his eyes to shield them from the sunlight.

"I have a surprise for you." Renjun's ears perk up, picking up the slight wavering in Jeno's tone but he doesn't say anything, simply allowing a smile to curl on his lips. His chest feels tight, heart beating fast as he hears a shuffling of feet against the grass, followed by a low curse of the word _fuck._

"You okay?"

"Yeah!" A yelp echoes around him, followed by a grunt, "I'm fine! I definitely didn't just trip— ow, that hurts— on the ground. Haha."

"Sure." Renjun lets his teeth sink down on his bottom lip, biting back his laughter. There's another very soft string of curses that spills from Jeno's lips as the sound of feet padding against the grass is emitted.

"Where the hell did they put the picnic basket? I asked Nana to put it here— ow, what the hell, why are there so many rocks in here?" There's a low, annoyed grumbling, presumably coming from Jeno. It takes everything in Renjun not to tear off the blindfold and laugh at how adorable Jeno is when he's frustrated.

"What? Who puts a basket right behind a big ass rock? Donghyuck, probably. Do they like seeing me suffer like this?" Jeno probably thinks he's keeping his voice low, quiet enough that he thinks he's the only one hearing the complaints that leave his mouth but his voice is kind of loud that Renjun can't help but chuckle. Thankfully, Jeno didn't hear him so he keeps his lips sealed tightly as possible.

There's a quiet rustling noise and Renjun picks it up as the sound of the blanket being unfolded and laid on the grassy ground, following by a quiet thump of food being laid down. The noise is too soft that Renjun almost confused it with the steady beat of his heart — thump, thump, thump.

"There." His heart beats faster, the sound getting too fast-paced for him to keep count because his head is spinning too fast to catch up. His breath hitches when he feels Jeno's fingers brush against the side of his face, carefully removing the blindfold with a few tugs after untying the knot.

"Oh," Renjun, despite knowing that Jeno secretly prepared a picnic for him, can feel his breath  
being taken away as his gaze settles on the blanket neatly spread out on the grass with small containers filled with sandwiches and fruits on top of it. It's sweet — so, so sweet that Renjun can feel his heart breaking out of his ribs again, emotions exploding as they slip through his veins, freezing him in place as he takes in everything.

"Come on." Jeno is trying hard to make himself sound confident, force his voice to be even and steady but it falters at the end. Renjun finds it incredibly endearing that he can't help but smile so widely, carefully sitting on the blanket, cross-legged while Jeno takes his seat right beside him with the brightest smile that one could ever have.

Renjun just can't help but feel like there's entirely something else, something much stronger that tugs on his heartstrings this time.

_EXHIBIT 2.1: GETTING LOST._

Getting lost with Jeno is easy.

Too easy.

He gets lost in the hazy fading sunlight, the warmth settling in much more comfortably than this morning. He gets lost in the sound of Jeno's laughter — a rhythm, a pattern so familiar that Renjun can shut his eyes to close off the rest of his world and remember the notes to the sound of his laughter.

He gets lost in Jeno's soulful eyes — his dark brown orbs staring back against his, the very subtle smile tugging on the corners of his lips. Renjun doesn't miss those little signs and honestly, he wish he didn't pay too much attention. It's hard not to feel like his heart will fall to his feet the moment Jeno smiles at him, breaking off a piece of his sandwich to feed it to him, careful to not let the crumbs fall on his lap.

It's incredibly easy to get lost with Jeno.

They start off in a direction — a simple one. One that introduces them to a world of basics. Colors that fascinate their eyes and music that makes them feel like their hearts are aching and healing all at the same time.

Jeno is an expert in drawing his finger away from the certain pathway — the tip always grazing along another path, another world that tips them off to a wonderland they never knew existed.

Sometimes, Jeno makes him laugh so hard that his stomach is churning and clenching tightly to the point that it's painful. But it's a good laugh — a laugh that sounds so much like an endless summer that lasts for lifetimes and lifetimes.

At times, he smacks his shoulder, calling him lame and rolling his eyes. Jeno has a tendency to be naturally funny but when he does try, the jokes come out dry and horrible — horrible enough that Renjun actually laughs all over again.

(Jeno gets the wrong idea, thinking that he's funny. Renjun simply refuses to correct him, amused with his adorable reactions.)

Jeno is always going through other directions, breaking open every little hidden path — it's not hard for him to do that. It's the way his eyes twinkle while watching Renjun talk about his life in China, how he's actually rowdier when he was back in his hometown. How his mother scolded him and grounded him as soon as he got home from school one day just because he dyed his hair into blonde, which is technically not his fault since his friends dared him to do it.

It's just so, so easy to talk to Jeno about everything and nothing at the same time.

His hair color has faded but it still looks pretty underneath the sunlight. Jeno had held his hand for a moment before his fingertips graze along his strands in a sweetest and gentlest manner, eyes crinkling.

"It's pretty," He voices out as he sifts his hand very carefully through the dry strands, gently patting them before his hand lingers a little long on his cheeks, eyes brighter than ever, "You're pretty."

"What?"

"You're pretty." Jeno's voice softens and there's that tug on his heartstrings again but Renjun welcomes the feeling. He finds himself not holding back the smile that willingly graces along the edges of his mouth.

But Jeno is exceptionally good at straying away from paths and venturing into secretive ones  — the kind of pathways that make Renjun want to curl up in his arms and spill every worry and insecurity bubbling in his chest. But Renjun is still too afraid and Jeno knows his place — he never fails to always swerve back into place, back into the same pathway they first ended up on, as if they never left that in the first place.

But if Renjun is being honest, he wouldn't mind getting lost with Jeno all over again.

_EXHIBIT 2.2: POLAROIDS._

"Look," Jeno digs out a polaroid camera from a small bag, holding it out for Renjun to see, "I got this from my cousin. Do you want to try it out?"

Without warning, Jeno flashes a mischievous smile, holding out his camera and aims it at the other boy, ready to click on the button.

"Jeno, I swear to god, don't—" Renjun covers his face with his hands, clearly embarrassed. His cheeks are getting too familiar with the red tint painted over them, to the point that his blush might as well be a permanent look.

"But you look cute!" Jeno tries to persuade, grinning so wide that Renjun is temporarily tempted to take his hands off his face and marvel over the sight of the brown-haired boy's smile. But he holds himself back, cursing at the fact that the heat still hasn't faded away from his cheeks — he hates how he easily blushes around Jeno's presence.

"Come on, just one picture." He can feel the electrifying touches from Jeno, a gentle brush of his fingers against the back of his hands. His breath hitches just the slightest, heart beating beneath his rib cage as he slowly pulls his palms away from his face.

The smile written on Jeno's face is distractingly wonderful, breathtaking that he didn't even notice that he's mirroring his smile. A click resounds in the air and Renjun is brought back to reality, blinking as he watches the polaroid slowly pops out while Jeno is flashing him a triumphant grin.

"You look adorable when you smile." Jeno nonchalantly says, that familiar smile tugging on the edges of his lips as he waits for the picture to develop on the polaroid. Renjun's smiling face slowly appears on it and Jeno finds himself smiling back almost immediately, cheeks coloring themselves into a red tint.

"See? Cute!"

"I'm not cute." Renjun tries to steal the polaroid out of his hands but Jeno holds onto it tightly, sticking out his tongue at him playfully before slipping it into his bag for safekeeping. Renjun pretends to scowl but Jeno only winds an arm around his waist to pull him close to his side, the camera facing them this time.

"Come on, take one picture with me." Jeno's voice is soothing and calm, enough to make Renjun's heart feel like it's going to burst out his chest due to the overflowing emotions slipping through his veins. He can't find it in himself to say no.

"Okay," He faces Jeno with a smile and the other boy curls his lips into a familiar expression before he lets Renjun lay his head on his shoulders, their fingers lightly brushing against each other's but never intertwining.

(Jeno lied — they took at least 10 pictures, most of it stolen shots of Renjun smiling and laughing.

Renjun doesn't really mind.)

_EXHIBIT 2.3: STARRY NIGHTS._

Renjun has curled up on Jeno's lap with the latter's fingers shifting through his hair again to soothe him down, empty containers strewn on the crumpled blanket. His heartbeat is still fast but soon, it manages to slow itself down into a calm and soothing pattern.

"I had fun today."

"You sure did have a lot of fun, considering how you kept taking pictures of me." Renjun mutters loud enough that Jeno picks it up, emitting a laugh afterwards at his words. There's that very light tug on his hair before his fingers brush against his scalp, allowing Renjun to slip into a euphoric state.

"I couldn't help it, you're too pretty."

"So I've heard." Renjun's cheeks are burning again so he chooses to press them again the rough material of Jeno's jeans, heart hammering against his chest just like before. Another low laugh and a subtle pull on his hair before Renjun finds himself looking up at Jeno, who's staring down at him with the sweetest smile he could muster.

"The prettiest boy I've ever seen."

"Says the boy who looks like an angel." Renjun shoots back easily, the compliment is enough to pull an adorable reaction out of Jeno — his cheeks heat up as if on cue and he clears his throat quietly, the traces of a smile just merely painted on the corners of his lips.

A long stretch of silence hangs over them but still, they don't say anything. Renjun has his cheek against Jeno's thigh while Jeno has his fingers tangled in the smaller boy's hair, smoothing out the strands in gentle and fleeting touches. The night has fallen over them already and the stars seem to burn brighter tonight, making Renjun light up in happiness.

But now that the night has finally taken its place, Renjun becomes overcome with sadness — a heavy sadness residing in his chest. He never knew that he loved Jeno's company, loved the way he laughed almost at everything, loved the way he never lost his smile no matter what. But the day is ending too abruptly, stealing Renjun's breath away with absolutely no warning at all.

"Are you ready to go home now?" Jeno's voice is enough for Renjun to snap out his train of thoughts, eyes wide as he gazes at the brown-haired male. He didn't notice at first that Jeno is forcing a smile to linger on his lips but soon, a crestfallen expression appears on his face and spells out his emotions all too well.

Renjun takes a deep breath, fingers brushing against Jeno's jeans before he buries his face on his lap.

"No, not yet," Renjun lets out a shaky sigh, forcing himself to raise his head and meet Jeno's dark brown orbs, "can we stay a little longer?"

Jeno can't help but grin so widely and just from the sight of him lighting up as bright as the stars above, Renjun figures out that he made the best decision of his life. As Jeno goes back to lightly slipping his fingers through his hair to soothe him down again, he knows that he's never going to regret this decision.

-

"So, this is it." Renjun pursues his lips into a thin line, standing in front of the door of Donghyuck's house. He wants to pull away and go back to the park, spend an entire day laughing over ridiculous jokes with Jeno while feeding each other sandwiches. But everything needs to come to an end at some point.

"Yeah," He pauses, hand lingering on the doorknob. Jeno is looking at him expectantly, hair brushed up thanks to Renjun trying to fix the strands of his hair a moment ago before they left. There's still a smile on his lips and Renjun's heart skips a beat at the breathtaking sight of it.

He doesn't realize it at first — one second, he's at the door and at the next second, he's walking back to Jeno in hurried steps. Jeno widens his eyes in surprise, lips parting to say something but he's rendered speechless when Renjun leans up to press his pair against his cheek. It's just a gentle brush of his lips on his skin, a soft kiss but it's enough for them to feel like their hearts are going to burst.

"Thank you. For today." Renjun fumbles over his words, blushing so hard. Despite the fact that it's dark already, Jeno can still see the way the other boy's cheeks turn into a dark red shade. He laughs lowly, head tilting to the side as he grins.

"Can I take you out on another date next time?" Renjun is caught off-guard at first, blinking fast but he recovers quickly, trying to act as nonchalant as possible as he shrugs his shoulders.

"Sure, I guess that's fine." Jeno is holding himself back from bursting into a fit of laughter but the smile written on his face is enough proof on what his real emotions are. Renjun's breath hitches when he feels the brown-haired boy's fingers on his reddened cheeks again, eyes falling shut as he feels Jeno leave a kiss on his forehead lightly.

"Good night. I hope we can talk tomorrow." Renjun stutters, tripping over his words as he tugs on his shirt unconsciously, cheeks brightening up again as he smiles.

"Of course. I, uh, good night!" Renjun squeaks out before he runs back to the front porch, opening the door as he tries to walk as fast as he can inside but he almost trips at the last minute over the rug. When he turns around, Jeno is standing there while laughing, waving a hand to say goodbye before gesturing him to go inside. Renjun pretends to be mad, huffing loudly but he lets a smile slip on his lips just before he shuts the door.

Renjun can't stop smiling even when he throws himself in his bed after washing up, heart hammering against rib cage. The sheets wrap themselves around his figure and he finds himself missing Jeno's warm embrace more than ever.

("Hey Injun," Donghyuck runs up to his room, throwing his door open in worry, "I'm sorry, I just got home. I bought you ice cream but it melted so Jaemin and I ended up eating it and—"

He cuts himself off upon seeing the wide smile playing on Renjun's lips. He can't help but flash a mischievous grin at him.

"And it looks like you and Jeno had enough sweetness to get you through the day, huh?"

"Oh, shut up, Hyuck.")

-

_DAY 031._

**Renjun [08:21]:** hey, good morning!  
**Renjun [10:19]:** are you doing anything today?  
**Renjun [15:46]:** i miss you  
**Renjun [17:17]:** sorry, ignore my last text please  
**Renjun [20:32]:** hope you're okay, we haven't talked for a while  
**Renjun [23:17]:** good night, sleep well

-

_DAY 038._

**Renjun [14:37]:** jeno  
**Renjun [14:37]:** i hope we can hang out soon  
**Renjun [14:37]:** i miss you, i guess

-

_DAY 045._

Renjun frowns, scrolling through the text messages. Jeno hasn't written anything back and his hands are aching to send more but he holds himself back — he doesn't want to come off as clingy.

"Hey, you okay?" Jaemin's head pops in through the wide crack of the door, brows knitting themselves in worry. Renjun hurriedly sits up, clearing his throat as he hugs his legs up to his chest, cheeks lightly coloring themselves into pink to express his embarrassment.

"Hyuck said you haven't had your lunch yet." Jaemin continues to speak, stepping inside the room before quietly shutting the door, carrying a plastic bag filled with styrofoam containers filled delicacies. Renjun mumbles a _thank you_ to his direction, watching as the pink-haired boy gently puts it at the foot of the bed. He lingers around, as if undecided if he should leave or go, eyes darting back and forth between Renjun and the door.

"It's okay, I'll eat this soon. Don't worry!" Renjun forces his voice to be light, even, and convincing but Jaemin is still standing there, gaze finally settling on him. He shifts uneasily, the sheets crumpling underneath his weight and movements before he casts his eyes down to avoid Jaemin's look.

"Jeno hasn't been talking to you?" His question catches him off-guard but Renjun manages to stay calm and keep a neutral expression as he slowly nods his head, their gazes meeting. There's a stretch of silence before Jaemin decides to sit next to him on the bed, the side dipping a bit before they settle comfortably on top of the sheets, side by side.

"He misses you too," Jaemin starts off, a fond smile playing on the corners of his lips. Renjun ignores the way his heart fluttered wildly, eyes falling shut so he can only concentrate on Jaemin's soothing and low voice.

"He can't really hang out that much these days. I barely see him around in his house anymore since he's waking up so early to leave for the dance studio and staying there until late at night."

"Dance studio?" Renjun questions and Jaemin finally turns his head, eyes crinkling as he smiles widely. He hums softly, fingers trailing along the sheets in a fleeting and gentle manner.

"Yeah, he loves dancing and this summer, he's been appointed as one of the leaders for the dance troupe. They're going to enter a competition at the end of the summer so Jeno is working so hard these days." Renjun is suddenly stricken with worry and guilt — here he is, missing Jeno so much and being all sulky all over it when the brown-haired boy has so much things on his plate as of the moment.

"Where's the dance studio?" Jaemin's eyes linger on him for a moment, tilting his head before a small smile tugs on the edges of his mouth.

"Are you going to visit him?" Renjun heaves a deep sigh, glancing down at his hands and suddenly, the feeling of missing Jeno's fingers fitting so nicely between the spaces of his own fingers slams down on him, the emotions running through his veins too fast.

He misses Jeno so much.

"Yeah, I will."

-

Renjun didn't really expect the evening to be this  freezing but even through his hoodie, he can feel the cold slipping underneath. He expected summer nights to be humid too but since it rained earlier, the ground is still a little too wet and the air is still cool.

He paces in front of the building, chewing on his lower lip in nervousness as he glances up before his gaze drops to the glass doors before him. With a deep breath, he braves himself to step through the doors, setting his eyes on the empty lobby with a line of doors stretching at both sides.

 _He stays at Practice Room C,_ he can hear Jaemin's voice in his head as he steps to the right, eyeing the windows and doors. He passes by them easily until he's facing the door marked with _C_ at the side of it.

He hesitates outside the door, hand hovering over the doorknob. It twists by itself and Renjun steps back hurriedly, cheeks flushed as the door swings open, Jeno stepping out of the already dark practice room. He's dressed in a black sleeveless shirt and black sweatpants, red and white sneakers resounding as they hit the floor. His bag is slung over his shoulder carelessly whilst he has his head down, thumbing through some sheets. He looks stressed, based on the frown curled on his lips and his tired eyes losing their usual sparkle.

"Jeno?" Renjun speaks out, tone uncertain as he shifts from one foot to another. Jeno tears his gaze away from the paper and his eyebrows rise up, the surprise written all over his face. A relieved smile easily slips back on his lips and Renjun can't deny that his heart leaped out of his chest at the familiar breathtaking sight.

"Hey Junnie, I wasn't expecting you." Jeno stretches his arms towards him, out of instinct and habit as he gestures the other boy to step into his embrace. Renjun easily steps in and he lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding, burying his face on Jeno's shoulder with arms winding around his waist. There's a warm hand running down his back in a soothing manner and there's something completely familiar and comforting in Jeno's arms.

"I missed you." Renjun voices out softly, words a little muffled against his shoulder. Jeno's shoulders shake a little as he elicits a low laugh, brushing away the hood of his hoodie so his fingers can slip through his hair.

"I missed you too," Jeno pauses, fingers halting just the nape of his neck before he continues talking in a softer, lower volume, "I'm sorry, I didn't know I would be this busy."

"It's fine!" Renjun pulls away slightly, still keeping his arms wrapped around Jeno's waist while staring at him with a reassuring smile. Jeno tries to mirror his expression but he fails, a sad frown making its way on the corners of his mouth.

"It's fine, I promise. I just want you to take care of yourself."

"Don't worry, I am." Renjun's breath hitches once more, cheeks burning as he feels Jeno's soft lips press against his forehead. It wasn't fleeting, not just a soft brush of lips on his skin but a sweet, sweet kiss. He feels his heart collapsing and wrecking his rib cage, the emotions slipping through his veins and body too fast that he's lost himself in the feeling for a moment.

When Jeno pulls away, he has that same breathtakingly gorgeous smile that Renjun loves so much. He almost got lost while staring straight into Jeno's dark brown orbs that he almost missed the question.

"Do you want to go to the beach with me?"

"What?" He blinks once, twice in confusion but Jeno's smile never wavers nor falters.

"Let's go to the beach. Just for a moment."

Renjun takes a deep breath, calming down the erratic beating of his heart. He quietly nods his head, smiling widely at the brown-haired boy in front of him.

"Okay, let's go."

-

The sand is still wet due to the rain a while ago and it sticks at the soles of Renjun's feet as he steps on it. He changed into a loose shirt that Jeno lend to him — it's a little big but it fits nicely on him though he admits that it's a little colder tonight. But even then, he feels serene, happy to be back here — the sand between his toes and the sound of the ocean waves gently lapping and splashing against the sand and rocks is comforting.

He always imagined that he'd come back here with Donghyuck, playing in the sand with the harsh beam of the sunlight down their backs. He can almost see himself pushing the other boy into the water, laughing so hard just like how they used to do when they were kids.

He never thought he would be back here, with a boy who makes him feel like there's fireworks exploding within his rib cage every time they smile at each other.

"I come here often nowadays."

"Really?" They take a seat near the water, feeling the waves tickle as the soles of their feet as they lap up against their legs. Jeno had rolled up his sweatpants, shivering a bit due to the cold but the smile never slides off his face as he scoots close to Renjun's side. Renjun holds out his hand and Jeno, as if out of habit already, slips his fingers through the spaces, intertwining them in a comfortable grip.

The beach is empty so Renjun lets himself soak in the feeling of being alone with Jeno and the familiar sound of ocean waves splashing and crashing against one another.

"Mm, I go here when I get stressed. Once, I fell asleep here during exam week and my parents panicked so much because I wasn't in my room. Nana is the one who found me and dragged me back to our house while scolding me so much." Jeno chuckles fondly at the memory and Renjun finds himself smiling, the pads of his fingers brushing against the other boy's knuckles. The night breeze feels warmer now but still, Renjun stays glued against his side with their fingers still intertwined.

"The last time I was here, Hyuck and I played so much. We were so much younger and I remember pushing him into the water a lot — it was so much easier to trick him before to turn around and try to do a trust fall with me, only for me to push him into the sand and water."

Jeno snorts, playfully pushing Renjun at the side.

"You're so mean."

"Hey, he ruined my sand castle! He got what he deserved."

Jeno doesn't respond, only pulling his hand out of Renjun's grip. Renjun shoots him a look of confusion, watching as the brown-haired boy stand up, holding a hand out for him to take. He grips it tight, hoisting himself up before he yelps as Jeno suddenly carries him as if he doesn't weigh anything. He kicks his legs as Jeno laughs, pushing through the wet sand before he playfully drops Renjun in the water.

"Lee Jeno!" He yells out, feeling the wet shirt stick to his body. Jeno is laughing so hard, arms wrapped around his stomach while Renjun huffs loudly. He swims, reaching out and gripping Jeno's leg, putting enough force before he pulls abruptly for Jeno to fall into the water.

"Hey!" He splutters, clearly shocked because of the freezing temperature of the water and because of how Renjun effortlessly pulled him down. It's Renjun's turn to laugh, clutching his own stomach as he bursts into a fit of laughter, melodious and beautiful enough that Jeno ends up laughing too. The sound of the waves peacefully crashing against the sand and the sound of their laughter mixing in is such a beautiful melody that Renjun doesn't ever want to forget.

They resolve to climb out of the water after splashing water at each other for a few minutes, trudging through the wet sand and the heaviness of their clothes due to being soaked from head to toe.

"God, that's really cold." Jeno's teeth are chattering and for a second, Renjun feels guilty for pulling him in. His arms are firmly wrapped around himself, trying to keep himself warm from the cold night breeze slipping by them, wet sand slipping in between their toes.

They find themselves sitting side by side, watching silently as the waves lap at the sand before quietly slipping back to the ocean. There's a sound of bag rustling, zipper being pulled — Renjun is surprised when he feels a towel being slipped around his shoulders carefully.

"Good thing I keep an extra towel around." Jeno laughs softly, tinkling sound as he crawls to place himself in front of a still shocked Renjun, sitting on the heels as he reaches out to tug on the towel. He keeps a tight grip on it as he gently ruffles Renjun's hair, the wet strands tangling with one another as Jeno tries to run a hand down his hair to soothe it down.

Jeno is beautiful — his brown hair falls over his eyes with a hint of a smile painted on the edges of his mouth. His eyes are bright, as if his dark brown orbs are dotted with faraway galaxies and unknown constellations. His lashes kiss his cheeks every time he focuses too hard, brows knitted together. As if out of instinct, his mind traces out every feature written on Jeno's face — his bright, starry eyes, the slope of his nose, his pink lips — every little mark. He can already imagine himself gripping a pencil, tracing the brown-haired boy's features on his sketchpad as he loses himself trying to make every detail as precise as possible.

Renjun finds his hand just hovering on the other boy's cheeks, eyes searching for any rejection. Jeno only stops toweling his hair, tilting his head as if he's silently inviting him to come closer.

His hand is shaking when he cups his cheek delicately, the pads of his fingers pressing down on the smooth skin. Jeno is still staring down at him, an unreadable look passing through his eyes back and forth, always too fast for Renjun to properly decipher. He swallows thickly when he feels the slight movement from him, leaning forward as if to close the distance between them.

He holds his breath, heart shaking beneath his rib cage, begging to be let out again but he ignores it as much as he can. Jeno looks so much more beautiful like this, the moonlight hitting his features perfectly, showing off every curve and slope that takes away Renjun's breath without any warning at all. He realizes how close they are when he feels the other's hot breath against his lips, the hesitation and silence stretching between them too long.

Another move, another second and Renjun would have dived in, kissed him senselessly. But Jeno, as if snapping out a trance, pulls away too fast that Renjun doesn't get to register the automatic hurt that settled within his bones.

"Sorry," Jeno blinks once, twice before flashing a sheepish smile as he stands up, "I got distracted."

"Yeah," Renjun finds himself replying after a moment later, cheeks burning as he forces himself to stretch out his legs and stand properly, "it's fine. Don't worry."

Jeno shifts from one foot to another, obviously awkward so Renjun tries to muster up a smile, a smile wide enough to at least trick Jeno into thinking that he's fine. Jeno hesitates, another unreadable emotion passing by his expression before he relaxes, shoulders dropping as he holds his hand out. Their fingers brush against each other's and Renjun takes the moment to greedily indulge himself in the feeling of Jeno's palm against his.

"Let's go," Jeno flashes a grin at him, tugging him close until they're side by side with fingers tightly intertwined, "I'll take you home."

Renjun never says that he already feels at home with Jeno.

-

(Renjun lays on his sheets, completely exhausted yet restless. The lights are already turned off and the house is completely silent — if he craned his neck and listened more carefully, he would hear Donghyuck snoring softly at the next room.

He heaves a deep sigh, forcing his eyes to fall shut and will himself to sleep. The events of today spin out in his head like a broken record, cursed to play forever but he doesn't mind at all. The whole forcing himself to fall asleep is working quite well if it wasn't for the quiet _ping!_ echoing in the room.

He grabs hold of his phone, eyes squinting as his eyebrows furrow in slight annoyance at the sudden brightness of his screen. He pulls the brightness down before scrolling through his messages.

His heart skyrockets out his chest when Jeno's name pops out on the top of his inbox.

 **Jeno [00:26]:** junnie i hope you're sleeping well.  
**Jeno [00:27]:** i missed you too, by the way. i really did.

Renjun finds himself finally dipping into a peaceful slumber, the sweetest smile playing on his lips.)

-

_DAY 048._

Renjun scrunches up his nose, the tiredness settling within his bones as he squints through the darkness. The house has fallen shut yet again but Renjun can still hear the low hum of the television downstairs, knowing that Jaemin and Donghyuck are on the couch, cuddling as always.

He heaves a sigh, feeling completely exhausted yet restless — his legs kicking the blanket away before he tugs on it again once he feels the cold breeze of the air conditioning unit passing by his body. He doesn't know why he's like this. He searches for reasons, carefully tugging away the useless thoughts filed deep within his mind but he comes up with nothing.

With the exception of the memory of Jeno's bright smile and melodious laughter.

He's been thinking about him a lot, too much that he felt the urge to open up his forgotten sketchpad that was kept underneath all his other things. He wanted to leave it behind at first — he initially thought that he wouldn't have any use for it since he knows that he's spending his whole summer with Donghyuck and knowing his best friend, they'll come up with the most ludicrous ideas that will amuse them to no end.

But Donghyuck is downstairs, falling asleep in Jaemin's arms and Renjun is sitting on his bed, fingers gripping his phone as he waits for Jeno to text him.

He never really thought he would find himself in this kind of situation.

Renjun would have fallen back into his bed, eyes falling shut to drift into dreamland if it wasn't for the sudden beep coming from his phone. He snatches it up from his side, eager to search through the messages with his heart hammering wildly against his chest.

For some reason, even when he expected to see Jeno's name to pop out in his inbox, he's still rendered speechless when he sees him. His fingers are unknowingly shaking as he pulls the thread of messages up, eyes flickering from the window in his room to his own phone.

 **Jeno [23:12]:** are you awake?  
**Jeno [23:12]:** i know it's late but i miss you

He can feel the familiar pull on the corners of his lips, a smile gracing his pair as he types up a quick reply with still shaking fingers.

 **Renjun [23:14]:** why are you still awake?  
**Jeno [23:15]:** i just got home from the studio  
**Jeno [23:15]:** and i'm feeling restless  
**Renjun [23:17]:** oh, me too  
**Jeno [23:19]:** do you want to stargaze? you said you like doing that, right?

Renjun stops, blinking fast as he reads the message. His heart feels like it's going to burst into a million pieces, so many emotions running through his veins as he tries to make sense of what's happening.

_He remembers? He actually remembers?_

He does remember mentioning to Jeno before that he loved falling asleep under the stars, head spinning from how breathtaking the constellations are whenever he lifts his gaze up to the skies. But he always thought that Jeno would just brush his words away, forgetting them as soon as Renjun allows the words escape his lips.

He never thought that Jeno would remember it.

This time, the smile clings to the edges of his lips as he hurriedly sends out a reply, heart filled with so much love and contentment.

 **Renjun [23:23]:** sure, i would love that

-

The breeze tonight is more of a warm, calming presence but still, Renjun slips into a gray hoodie, pocketing his hands in his pants. He can see an outline of a dark figure and there's that all too familiar tug on his heartstrings as the realization dawns on him that it's Jeno.

Jeno asked to meet up in the park where they had their first date — the same day that Renjun realizes that the brown-haired boy is so, so easy to love that he can't help but feel like his emotions exploded deep within him, after spending so many days burying them in the spaces of his rib cage.

"Hey," Jeno's smile is blindingly bright and Renjun is almost taken aback at the sight of it. He should've gotten used to it already but there's something entirely beautiful about the way his eyes crinkle as the corners of his lips curve upwards to resemble a smile. Though the night is in deep and he's wearing a black hoodie, Jeno stands out amidst all the heavy darkness surrounding them.

He takes a seat on the blanket that Jeno graciously laid out, falling on his back as he slips next to the brown-haired boy's side. There's a subtle tug on his hoodie before he feels familiar arms winding around his smaller figure, embracing him tightly against his chest. Renjun wants to stay as long as he can in his arms, drowning himself in the immense sweet pleasure of being at home with him.

There's a stretch of comfortable silence between them as Renjun lays his head on his chest, feeling so at peace at every rise and fall of his chest and the low, steady hum of his heart beating. He finds himself tracing invisible patterns on his shoulder, dragging the tip of his finger along his chest where his heart is quietly nestled within his rib cage, before dragging it back up to feel the slight curve of his neck.

"Are you here to admire the stars or me?" The edge of Jeno's voice is dripping with playfulness and Renjun can't help but roll his eyes before bursting into a quiet fit of laughter. He pulls away, shifting to another position so his head is on the other boy's shoulder while his arms are winded around his waist. Jeno keeps an arm around his shoulders instead, securing him a tight hold.

"Shut up."

"Oh, you didn't even deny the fact that you are admiring at me."

"Don't be so cocky." Jeno sticks out his tongue at him and Renjun wrinkles his nose, eliciting another echoing laughter. The silence falls back on them again but they don't shy away from it — embracing it as their gazes settle on the stars above. They seem to burn brighter tonight and Renjun finds himself losing in his train of thoughts, his mind already tracing and creating a path from star to star until they form into an ethereal, otherworldly kind of constellation.

"The stars look so pretty tonight," He hears Jeno whisper, voice low and silent enough that Renjun would have missed his words if he wasn't listening carefully, "especially this one. This one looks the prettiest."

His eyes flicker over to Jeno and his cheeks color themselves into red as the heat settles on his face upon the realizing how Jeno wasn't even staring at the stars anymore. Their eyes meet and Renjun can feel his heart at his throat, admiring the way the other boy's lashes fall against his cheeks in such a gentle and soft manner.

"Are you trying to be cheesy now?" Renjun mumbles, suddenly feeling a chill down his spine, a tingling feeling slipping through the rest of his body almost instantaneously. He can't bear to meet his dark brown eyes anymore so they drop to somewhere else, counting the number of red and white square dotted on the blanket. Jeno doesn't speak at first and Renjun, even though he can't see him, can feel his gaze boring straight into him, almost as if he can see his soul.

"Junnie, can you look at me?" Renjun swallows thickly. He blinks once, twice, counting every resounding heartbeat that echoes in the empty space of his chest to calm himself down. But he can't find it in himself to drown all the nervousness that managed to settle in his stomach, making him feel extremely light-headed and dizzy though he admits that he doesn't know what's the cause of this.

He can feel the gentle and fleeting touches coming from the brown-haired male, the pads of his fingers trailing up his neck before they settle down his chin. He effortlessly lifts it up and Renjun finds himself drowning once more in the dark orbs belonging to the boy who makes him feel every emotion at the same time.

"Jeno," His voice is thick and filled with uncertainty, doubt but Jeno's gaze doesn't waver at the sound of his name rolling off Renjun's tongue, as if it's both a sweet melody and a dreadful curse.

"Renjun," It's been so long since Jeno said his whole name out loud like that — it sounds familiar yet foreign when the name spills from his lips. The hesitation is heavy in the air between them and Renjun badly wants to look away, run away just like he's been doing for so long but tonight, he finds himself meeting Jeno's steady gaze. If Renjun had looked more closely, he would have noticed it — the way Jeno's eyes just kept flickering to his eyes before they drop to gaze at his pink lips. His hands are shaking but Renjun is already in too deep with his nervousness so he doesn't realize it at all.

"Renjun, is it all right if I—" Jeno stop in mid-sentence before swallowing thickly and in a second, Renjun recognizes how the other boy is quietly reflecting his own emotions, shedding away any confidence left in his façade. It's both surprising and relieving to know that he's not the only one who feels so many emotions exploding within his chest.

"Is it all right if I kiss you?"

Renjun is rendered speechless. He blinks fast, his head spinning from too many thoughts that crashed in him, the trail breaking apart due to the force. Waves and waves of confusion and dizzying happiness crash through his lungs and heart, drowning out all other emotions and making it much harder for him to breathe.

He nods. Once, twice.

The sound of his fast-paced heartbeat echoes in his head, the night falling shushed and silent as Jeno leans in. His lashes look so much prettier like this — he can see how long they are and how gentle they seem when they kiss his cheeks in a fleeting manner. His eyes seem brighter, as if the night sky is emptied out, pouring all the constellations and galaxies within the specks of brown in his dark orbs. It doesn't take too long for Renjun to get lost within them in just a quiet moment, in just a sudden stretch of echoing silence between them.

His eyes fall shut and for a second, panic rises through his chest and up his throat as the darkness crawls through every space of his vision. He's tempted to allow them to flutter open but his thoughts collapse on one another when he feels Jeno's lips crash against his.

Every second slows down, dragging every moment and stretching it for as long as possible. Every thought crashes and burns deep within his head as he loses himself in the waves of immense happiness crashing inside of him, breaking his rib cage and letting the trail of emotions coming from his heart trickle down to his veins.

Jeno takes the moment between them, lips pressed softly and hesitantly against his but soon, he gains the confidence to move just the slightest. Renjun reciprocates in the same manner, hands falling to lay on his cheeks to caress them in light and fleeting touches. They can feel themselves pressing closer and closer until the heat coming from their bodies is both overwhelming yet comforting.

Jeno savors the kiss, slotting their lips in perfect, practiced movement, taking Renjun's breath away from his lungs with every second that walks by them. Renjun is dizzy, cheeks burning but he's madly and recklessly in love with the feeling.

When they pull away, their cheeks are both painted in the same red tint and they're catching their breath, completely flushed and embarrassed. But no one can ever miss the way their own smiles linger on their lips, painted across the corners of their mouths.

"Wow," Jeno voices out, knocked out breathless with the widest and most beautiful smile that Renjun has ever witnessed in his whole life. Just a simple glance, anyone can figure out how elated he is by the way his eyes light up even brighter than before.

"Can I—"

"Please." Renjun finds himself saying, not even ashamed anymore as his arms wrap themselves around Jeno's neck, already craving for the feeling of the brown-haired male's lips against his once again. It's admittedly intoxicating — everything about Jeno is addictive that he doesn't blink anymore at the emotions burning within his chest all too often.

Jeno looks taken aback but there's a flicker of happiness and adoration in his eyes as he stares down at him. Renjun can't help but curl his lips just the slightest at him, heart pounding deep inside of him.

Renjun has always wondered what it would feel like if he ever drowned himself in the embrace of the cosmos, galaxies and stardust slipping through every part of him and bringing him into a new world filled with nothing but the breathtaking beauty of the universe.

As Jeno's lips crash against his again, he realizes that he doesn't have to wonder about that anymore — he knows the answer already.

-

(Jeno dropped him back at the house that night, cheeks flushed but the twinkle is dancing within his orbs, stars shining brighter as he grins widely. They didn't linger around awkwardly — Jeno, as if out of instinct, cups his cheeks in such a delicate manner that even that alone is enough to steal Renjun's breath away. Their lips meet in a dizzyingly sweet kiss, their chests feeling light with hearts fluttering beneath their rib cages as they pull away with reddened cheeks.

"I'll see you again soon." Renjun, for some reason, has lost the ability to say the words that are laying on the tip of his tongue. He nods his head quickly and Jeno throws his head back, eliciting a sweet laughter that rings in the air. They hesitate just for a moment before Jeno leans in to drop a fleeting kiss on his cheek, a gentle brush of his lips on his skin.

"Good night, Junnie."

"Good night, Jeno.")

-

_DAY 052._

It feels like it's been a lifetime since he felt Jeno's lips pressed against his own but every time his eyes fall shut, the memory plays back perfectly, not missing even a single second as the scene slips by one by one before him. He can't stop himself from smiling, lips always curled up as the pads of his fingers brush against them in a fleeting and gentle touch, reminiscing the feeling all over again.

"I can't believe this," Donghyuck pretends to wipe away his tears while Renjun snaps out of his dreamland, furrowing his eyebrows at the boy beside him. They're taking a rest day, spending the seconds away by watching television and sitting side by side on the couch.

"Why?"

"I can't believe Jeno is really stealing my precious Renjun away from me."

"Hyuck, I—"

"Sometimes, I can still hear his voice," Donghyuck sniffles, taking out a handkerchief and pretends to dab it on his invisible tears, making Renjun roll his eyes, "right now, he just said, 'Hyuck, you really are the most handsome boy in the whole world. Jeno who?'"

Renjun kicks his legs swiftly and Donghyuck yelps in both shock and pain, whining about how much it hurts as he reaches down to rub the assaulted part. He rolls his eyes but even then, he wraps an arm around Donghyuck, feeling the other boy eagerly wraps his own arms around Renjun's tinier frame.

"You're so dumb, no one can replace you."

"I know. I mean, where else can you find such an amazing guy like me?"

"Don't get so cocky now." Renjun shoots back, voice dripping with playfulness as Donghyuck bursts into a fit of laughter, head falling on Renjun's shoulder comfortably as they snuggle close to each other. They stay quiet, the scenes of some drama playing on the television are the only sounds that resound in the living room but both of them are barely paying attention to it.

"Okay, but seriously, we haven't been spending time together that much anymore."

"Wow, Hyuck, just say you miss me already."

"Never," Donghyuck pulls away, pretending to scowl in disgust before he ends up whining once again, clinging back into Renjun's embrace as if he's seeking for more warmth from the other boy, "okay, maybe I do."

"Dumbass, you see me everyday."

"Yeah, but we don't really get to talk!" Donghyuck lays his head on Renjun's shoulder again, snuggling close until his face is buried in the crook of his neck. Renjun finds himself smiling just the slightest, curving the corners of his mouth upwards as he lets Donghyuck snuggle to him as much as possible. Though he usually hates affection, he did miss having an affectionate Donghyuck cling to him just like this.

"So, what happened a few days ago?"

"Huh?" Renjun throws him a glance, brows knitted in confusion while Donghyuck shrugs his shoulders, an innocent smile playing on the edges of his lips.

"You went out late at night, came back home at almost two in the morning while grinning like an idiot." He can feels the heat crawl back to his cheeks as the memory snaps back in place, playing out the scenarios as if on cue. Donghyuck is quick to notice the pink that dusted itself on Renjun's cheeks, pulling away but keeps his arms wrapped around the other boy's smaller figure.

"What happened?" Renjun heaves a deep sigh, hands shaking but the smile is lingering on his lips, gaze casted down on the ground.

"We went stargazing and we," Renjun swallows thickly as he blushes harder, "we kissed."

The silence stretches between them and Renjun gathers enough courage to tear his gaze away from the floor, facing a completely shocked Donghyuck, hands over his mouth. His eyes are wide, as if he can't believe the words that spilled from Renjun's lips.

"You and Jeno kissed."

"Yes."

"You," Donghyuck moves away then points a finger at him, as if emphasizing his point, "and Jeno—"

"Yes, we kissed, dumbass!" He slaps his shoulder, earning a pained groan from Donghyuck, who proceeds to whine about how much it hurts again. Renjun can't wipe away the smile that's lingering on his lips, choosing to bury his face in his palms as the memory spins out in his head over and over again.

Surprisingly, Donghyuck has quieted down that Renjun has to look up to see if his best friend is still on the couch. Donghyuck is staring at him with a softened expression, an elated smile gracing his lips easily as he lays his hands on his lap.

"Jun, I've never seen you like this before," He blinks, cheeks still heating up and Donghyuck lets out a laugh at the sight of it, "I've never seen you blush and giggle over a boy like this. You really like him, don't you?"

Renjun stops at his words — it's suddenly difficult to swallow and take a deep breath. He has always known that he had feelings for Jeno but he hated labeling them so much so he ended up pushing all the logical conclusions out of his head. But the realization is crashing down on him too fast, head spinning from too many thoughts and the immeasurable amount of happiness bursting within his chest.

He likes Jeno. So, so much.

"I do," He finally breathes out, grinning as he feels the lightness settle within the his bones, enjoying the indescribable feeling exploding in his veins, "I like him so much."

Donghyuck is smiling so wide, clearly happy for him but slowly, as if taking the puzzle pieces away, his expression turns into a crestfallen one — eyes filled with sadness as a frown curves downwards on his lips. Renjun doesn't like the dread that made its way in his stomach, making him feel queasy and uneasy.

"Have you told him?" As soon as the words spill from his lips, Renjun can feel himself clenching his seat on the couch, fingers digging onto the rough material. He heaves a deep sigh and manages to curl his lips into a weak smile, carefully shaking his head afterwards.

Donghyuck gazes at him, eyes sadder than ever before he quietly opens his arms, gesturing for Renjun to scoot closer into his embrace. The other boy lets out another shaky sigh before moving close so his arms can wind around his waist while Donghyuck slips his arms around his frame tightly, running a soothing hand down his back.

"Do you think he'll want me to stay?"

"Do you want to stay? Even when you got accepted in one of the top universities?" Donghyuck speaks softly, fingers now combing through his strands to soothe down the tangles and to calm him down. Renjun stays silent, lips pursued in a thin line. Even when they don't say it out loud, Renjun knows what his answer will always be.

"I'll tell him soon." He ends up saying after a long stretch of silence between them, the television serving as a some sort of low background noise.

Donghyuck doesn't reply — he only pats his back and hugs him even tighter.

All Renjun wishes is that he'll be able to tell him soon enough.

-

_DAY 057._

**Jeno** **[09:12]:** hey, good morning!  
**Jeno** **[09:12]:** are you doing anything today? let's hang out!  
**Jeno** **[14:29]:** oh, are you busy today?  
**Jeno** **[18:45]:** sorry, i miss you so much  
**Jeno** **[23:56]:** sleep tight! i hope we can talk more soon

-

 _DAY_ _064._

 **Jeno** **[12:24]:** hey, are you okay?  
**Jeno** **[12:24]:** i dropped by hyuck's place a while ago and he said you weren't around  
**Jeno** **[15:53]:** junnie, are you avoiding me? did i do anything wrong?  
**Jeno** **[22:31]:** sorry, i won't bother you anymore

-

 _DAY_ _068._

 **Renjun** **[** ** **02**** **:23]:** jeno, i miss you so much. i'm sorry i can't be around. i feel so much for you already and i can't bear to see you upset once i tell you that i'm leaving once summer ends. i want to stay with you but what if you don't want me around anymore? would you want me to stick around even when i can barely fly back and forth from china to sk? i don't think i deserve you. especially with what's happening. i think i should leave soon so i won't hurt you that much anymore.

**! Message Not Sent**

-

_DAY 071._

"Quit avoiding him," Surprisingly, Jaemin is the first one that greets him once the door swings open. He's still standing there in his pyjamas, hair sticking out in a completely unattractive manner so Renjun has the decency to become embarrassed, cheeks burning as he stares down at his bare feet.

"Can I come in?" Jaemin is quick to sense his uneasiness, voice turning softer, gentler and Renjun feels his breath hitch slightly as he dares himself to meet his eyes. His hair has turn into faded pink but it's still quite pretty and fascinating to look at. But his eyes are sad, filled with worry and frustration and Renjun knows that he's part of the reason why the other boy is feeling like this.

He steps aside and Jaemin slips in, taking a seat on the edge of the bed as he drags a hand down his face, exhaustion clear on his face. Renjun follows him and takes the empty space beside him, quietly fiddling with his loose shirt.

"Jeno is worried because you won't respond to his texts and calls," Jaemin's eyebrows are furrowed, nose wrinkling as his gaze flickers over to Renjun, "did something happen? Did you guys fight?"

"No." His reply is quick, too quick that it elicits a suspicious glance from the pink-haired boy. Renjun shakes his head and hugs his legs up against his chest, hair falling over his eyes with a frown painted on the corners of his lips.

"I can't bear to see him now."

"Because you're leaving?" Jaemin's voice is hesitant, afraid but still holds the same gentleness and softness a moment ago. Renjun cracks a sad smile at his words, nodding his head before his gaze drops to his hands.

"Talk to him," Jaemin's hand is warm and comforting down his back and Renjun is immensely glad for the familiar presence beside him. Still, he knows that he can't stop running away from whatever inevitable event that's going to happen. He has to face it at some point, right?

"I will, later. I promise." Jaemin offers him another bright, sweet smile and Renjun's heart is aching all over again as he manages to at least try and mirror his smiling expression.

They'll be fine.

Jeno and him will be fine.

-

Renjun braced himself for this dreadful interaction — he repeated and edited the conversation in his head, smoothing out all the creases in any way that the talk will go through. He practiced his apology too many times that it's the only words that he knows that will spill from his lips once he sees him again.

He steps out of the house, dressed in a white sleeveless shirt with another light blue blazer on his shoulders and a pair of white shorts. His feet are aching due to the heat that descended on him, scorching hot as he determinedly walks over to Jeno's front porch, apology ready to fall from his lips.

But everything falls apart when he sees Jeno standing in the driveway.

He's wearing a loose white shirt and a pair of black shorts but even then, he looks quite stunning, breathtaking as always. Wet strands fall over his eyes but he brushes it up, running a hand through them carelessly before moving the pail using his foot.

He can't find it himself to move forward, feet stuck in place as he watches Jeno grabs the sponge and thoroughly cleans the car, tongue sticking out with brows furrowed in concentration. It's been a while since they last saw each other and Renjun, thinking that somehow he lost even a little bit of feelings for the other boy, gets hit with an overwhelming amount of love for him. His head is spinning and he can't chase away the smile written on the corners of his lips, clearly elated at the sight of him.

He's so lost in his own trail of thoughts that it took a while before he snaps out of it, realizing that Jeno is now just an arm's length away from him. He blushes hard, taking a step back out of instinct but Jeno reaches forward, grabbing hold of his wrist in a tight grip so he won't be able to run away.

"Renjun?" He cringes, somehow his full name leaving Jeno's lips like that sounds entirely unfamiliar now. He's been used to Jeno addressing him as Jun, Junnie, or even at times whenever he spends time with Donghyuck, he manages to pick out the nickname Injun too.

"Yeah," He lets out an awkward laugh, trailing off when he realizes that Jeno is stone silent, eyebrows simply knitted together, "hi. I just dropped by. I wanted to say something."

Jeno's eyebrows shoot up, clearly interested now but Renjun finds the look intimidating all of a sudden, forcing himself to tear his gaze away from his face and drop to his feet instead. The heat becomes more uncomfortable, pressing down on his body as the sweat starts to form down his back.

"I—" _I'm_ _sorry,_ he wants to say out loud. But the words are still laying on the tip of his tongue and Jeno looks awfully confused, making the panic rise through his stomach and up to his throat. But it dies down when Jeno shakes his head, effortlessly tugging him forward in one swift movement before his arms wrap themselves tightly around his figure, enveloping him in a tight embrace.

"I missed you," Jeno whispers and Renjun feels his knees about to give way so he grips his shirt in his hand, feeling Jeno slowly pull away to cup his cheeks in the same gentle and delicate manner he did weeks ago, "I missed you so much."

"I missed you too. I'm sorry, I just—"

"It's fine. Whatever happened, it's in the past now." His eyes are crinkling in happiness and Renjun takes a moment, taking in a deep breath as he traces out the features of Jeno's bright smiling face. It's such a beautiful sight and Renjun wants to store it away deep within his mind, replaying this memory of Jeno holding him so close and looking at him as if he lights up the entire world.

Renjun can't help it — he finds himself leaning in and capturing his lips in a deep kiss, pressing himself as close as possible, missing every part of him all at the same time. Jeno responds easily, moving slowly as they kiss, drowning out all the other sounds and sights around them as he indulges himself in the feeling of Renjun's skin against his fingers.

"Thank you," Renjun breathes out, cheeks flushed as Jeno grins at him, caressing his cheek and feeling it heat up even more because of his gentle touches.

"Don't go anywhere, okay? Or else, I'll be mad." Jeno speaks out, voice filled with teasing and playfulness but Renjun freezes for a moment, swallowing thickly.

_Later._

_I'll tell him later._

"Okay, I won't." The smile that Jeno gives him is breathtaking beautiful and all Renjun wishes is that he'll see that smile for the rest of his life.

-

"Oh, come on," Jeno takes the sponge from Renjun's hand in a blink of an eye, running it down on the windshield. It leaves behind a soapy and slippery trail before he starts washing the sides in a diligent and concentrated manner.

"Let me help you." Renjun whines and scoots down to grab the pail filled with soapy water, checking it before glancing up at Jeno with a pout playing on his lips. Jeno spares him a glance and he lets out an embarrassed and shy laugh, cheeks dusted with pink as he holds the sponge even tighter.

"Are you really acting cute now?"

"Yes."

"My dad isn't going to pay you for helping me out in washing his car." Jeno snorts, wiping at the windows to get rid of the stubborn dirt before trailing it down to soap up the sides. Renjun doesn't speak — choosing to jump back to his feet before hurriedly running over to the grab the hose, aiming it at the other boy with his melodious laughter already spilling from his lips. Jeno watches with wide, confused eyes before the realization slams down on him all of a sudden, leaping to his feet to stop him.

"Don't— Injun!" Renjun is surprised when the nickname falls easily from Jeno's lips, as if it's out of habit already but still, he aims at him, laughing as he turns on the hose, spraying the other boy with water and completely drenching his clothes. Their own laughter resounds in the air, the sound carelessly spilling from their mouths as they run around with Jeno chasing him while Renjun sprays him with more of the water, sometimes barely missing him by an inch or two.

"I swear, once I get my hands on you—" The threat never finishes escaping past Jeno's lips because Renjun makes a fatal mistake of turning around for a quick moment, Jeno hurriedly jumping in to wrap his arms around Renjun's tinier frame from behind. Renjun yelps as Jeno unknowingly carries him up whilst attempting to slap away the hose from his hands, spraying water everywhere that Renjun feels the rush of water hit him several times. Jeno throws his head back, laughing so loudly that Renjun wants to listen to it for the rest of his life.

They stumble, almost falling on the grass but Jeno has a tight grip around him, pulling him close as Renjun bursts into another fit of laughter, finally shutting it off. They let out a deep breath as Jeno puts him down while Renjun almost stumbles again from the feeling of his flushed and aching cheeks and the dizzying happiness running through his head.

"Holy shit, my clothes are wet already." Renjun whines, feeling the sleeveless shirt stick to his body uncomfortably. He peels off his blazer, feeling refreshed after getting sprayed with the water and hangs it over his shoulder with Jeno gazing at him, eyes crinkling.

"Come on," He feels a warm hand down his back and he lets out a small sound of surprise when he feels Jeno step in front of him, stealing a kiss from his lips, "let's finish up then change into something drier."

Renjun is grinning at him so wide that his cheeks hurt but it's hard not to do that when Jeno is standing before him, still looking like an ethereal angel even when his clothes are sticking uncomfortably around his figure and the strands of his hair are hanging off his forehead, a hand brushing them up to pat them down.

He has never felt this light before — heart fluttering so much beneath his rib cage. It's as if being around Jeno can make him lose his breath and fill him up with so much love and contentment like never before.

He wishes that he can stay like this with Jeno forever.

"Okay."

-

Jeno's bed is soft, the sheets crumpling a bit under their weight. Jeno has changed into another loose shirt and shorts and Renjun eagerly slips into one of Jeno's hoodies and shorts, feeling extremely overwhelmed by how everything suddenly reminds him of _Jeno, Jeno, and Jeno._

It's already deep in night, the stars burning in the sky. It's ten minutes past midnight but Renjun doesn't feel the exhaustion settling within his bones like how he expected — his legs are shaking and his fingers won't stop twitching, desperately clinging on the sheets every now and then.

He texted Donghyuck a while ago that he's staying at Jeno's for the night so he knows that the other boy has already drifted off to sleep. The house is already quiet so the silence is magnified, intensifying that it manages to drown out every thought of his with one exception.

_Jeno._

His eyes flicker over to the other boy, watching his chest rise and fall in an almost steady pattern. Jeno is still wide awake as well, feeling restless as he sits up on the bed, settling close to Renjun with a soft sigh.

"Can't sleep?" Renjun mumbles, his fingers trailing along the sheets before they meet Jeno's hand. There isn't a moment of hesitation — their fingers lightly intertwine as if it's been talked about beforehand. As if it's out of habit already.

"Yeah, I don't know why." Jeno scoots closer, the hair falling over his eyes again as he rests his head on Renjun's shoulder in a comfortable manner as their intertwined hands lay in the small distance between their legs.

"Me too," He whispers lowly, voice wavering as the thoughts crash back in his head, waves and waves of sadness and fear taking over every part of his body. His feelings are scattered everywhere, running through his veins. It's not even a comforting kind of feeling — it makes his stomach churn in the most terrible way ever.

"Jeno, can I tell you something?"

"Okay, shoot."

Renjun lets his eyes fall shut, unable to meet the chocolate brown eyes staring back at him. He's afraid that he might crumble and break down, do something he night regret so he stays silent for a moment, collecting his thoughts to let them form a coherent trail of words and sentences.

"I'm leaving."

The words are so much harder to roll off his tongue and though he wanted to expect any sort of lightness settling within his rib cage once they spill from his lips, he knows that dread and sadness will crash and burn deep within him.

He isn't wrong.

"What?" Jeno's voice comes out shaky, filled with so much confusion and pain. Renjun keeps his eyes closed, feeling the tears start to well up — he can't even imagine how hurt Jeno is right now and he knows he's a coward for avoiding his gaze as of the moment.

"You're leaving?" The words are supposed to slip by Jeno's lips as a statement but it comes out as a question, a ray of hope that he might have heard Renjun wrong.

God, it pains Renjun to know that he'll have to crush that hope mercilessly.

He braves himself to let his eyes flutter open, gaze flickering to Jeno. His breath is taken away, not because of the usual reasons but because of how the sadness is crushing his lungs as he watches Jeno stare at him with a flash of betrayal and hurt.

"I never meant to stay here. I was only here to visit Hyuck." He quietly explains, braving himself and pushing more to at least meet Jeno's gaze — it's the least that he can do for him.

"Are you... at least going to come by every now and then?" Renjun swallows thickly at his question and Jeno pursues his lips in a thin line.

"I don't know," Renjun sullenly replies, losing every part of his heart every time he notices Jeno's crestfallen expression, "I really don't know."

It's the truth — that's why it took such a long time to come and visit Donghyuck again. He had so many difficulties trying to come back here just so he can talk and interact with Donghyuck again. That's why he vowed to spend every second with his best friend and not get attached at all.

But Jeno is different.

He always has been.

"Oh," It's the only word that Jeno can utter. His lips quiver as he lets go of Renjun's hand without a second thought, sinking back on his bed and turning his back on him, gripping a pillow close to his chest. Renjun can't find it in himself to say anything else so he resolves to doing the same thing — staying silent and falling back in the bed, their backs facing each other.

He always wished that Jeno would tell him to _please stay_ or _we'll make it work, don't worry_. But as he listens to the other boy's steady breathing and how his sniffles are reduced to nothing but complete silence, Renjun realizes that he won't ever say those words to him and he'll never get to hear him, not now and not ever.

Renjun pretends that his heart doesn't hurt anymore.

-

_DAY 077._

**Renjun [22:21]:** jeno i miss you so much  
**Renjun [22:23]:** we haven't talked since that day  
**Renjun [22:24]:** i can't stop thinking about you  
**Renjun [23:56]:** let's talk soon, please

-

_DAY 082._

**Renjun** **[02:45]:** i fucking miss you so much  
**Renjun** **[02:47]:** you'd probably just seen this message too  
**Renjun** **[02:48]:** i don't deserve your forgiveness  
**Renjun** **[02:53]:** but i'm sorry  
**Renjun** **[03:01]:** i'll stop bothering you now, sorry

-

_DAY 085._

Nothing.

Nothing at all.

Renjun wipes the stray tears that slid down his cheeks with the back of his hand, eyes bleary as he tries to focus on his phone screen. A sigh slips past his lips as he lets the gadget fall on his side, a quiet thump resounding as it landed on the sheets.

His head is still spinning after all the events thar happened to him — Jeno still isn't talking to him. Honestly, the pain is crushing him but as the days go by, it slowly trickles out of his veins bit by bit. He pretends that it doesn't hurt anymore so Donghyuck would stop worrying about him too much.

His gaze flickers over to the calendar, his expression turning into a crestfallen one as he quietly counts the rest of the days until the red circle makes its way around a number.

_15 days._

Renjun closes his eyes tightly, letting out a deep sigh.

_15 more days._

-

_DAY 086._

"Injunnie!" Renjun, out of habit already, sits up from the bed, the strands of his hair messed up and dark circles under his eyes. He expected Donghyuck to come barging in through the door but he's surprised when Jaemin's head pops in, a smile playing on his lips. He doesn't even have time to wonder about how Jaemin started calling him that out of nowhere.

"You should join Hyuck and me. We're heading to the amusement park!" Renjun hesitates, arching a brow. Lately, Jaemin has been more affectionate and nicer to him, which is a shock since he expected that the pink-haired boy to harbor a grudge towards him for hurting his best friend. He's still not comfortable with the idea of suddenly coming in between Donghyuck and Jaemin's dates nowadays, even though they keep insisting that he's not a bother.

Yes, it's sweet and considerate how they always invite him out but Renjun always shakes his head in protest. Maybe they were hoping that he'll change his mind this time.

"I-I don't think—"

"Sorry, we won't take a no for an answer!" Donghyuck suddenly screams from down the hall, surprising Renjun from how loud he is. Jaemin gives him a knowing look, eyebrows shooting up before a grin makes its way back to his lips.

"Be ready in fifteen. We'll be out by then!" The door is pulled shut even before Renjun can argue back. He heaves a deep sigh, rolling his eyes before finally pulling himself out of the bed.

Guess he doesn't have a choice now.

-

The weather is more of a calm and warm presence today — the sunlight is not as harsh as Renjun expected it to be. But still, he pulls the cap lower, hoping that the heat will leave his face since he's tired of his cheeks painting themselves in red tint.

He would have appreciated how Donghyuck and Jaemin eagerly dragged him out of the house if it wasn't for the fact that they literally left him at the entrance and started racing off to a nearby stall that's selling plushies. He even vaguely heard Jaemin telling Donghyuck, _don't buy the whole stall this time, I swear to god. You bought me so many plushies already._

He tried to follow them but a wave of people came in between, blocking him out and making him lose his friends in the middle of the crowd. He tried calling them too but he couldn't get a good signal, resulting to just him staring at his phone screen for a whole ten minutes in frustration.

"I can't believe they really left me," He grumbles as he walks down the pathway, pointedly ignoring the game and food stalls around him as he navigates his way to the rides. He contemplates on riding everything just to shove in his friends' faces that he had fun without them but he felt lost already, taking the wrong turns and walking in circles.

He's sure that he walked this path twice already and he lets out a deep sigh, frustrated as the heat becomes more unbearable again, as if the sun decided to add more to his bad luck. He's ready to leave but he's stopped short when he hears a familiar voice just a few inches away from him.

"Renjun?" He stops, feet frozen in place as his heart begins hammering against his ribcage again. He's tempted to run away — his thoughts are all screaming at him to ignore the person calling him, for god's sake — but he can't do it.

"Renjun?" The voice sounds nearer and Renjun feels his shoulders drop in defeat, turning on his heel to look at the intruder. Jeno stands before him, wearing a black shirt and ripped jeans, his red and white sneakers hitting the gravel as he walks close. His hair is a darker shade of brown now and though he looks breathtaking as always, Renjun notices how he lost the sparkle in his eyes.

"Hi," He clears his throat, embarrassed at how hoarse and scratchy his voice sounded as he tears his gaze away from him to glance at his own shoes.

"Hey," Jeno's voice is soothing and calm, exactly how he sounded weeks ago. And god, Renjun missed hearing it so much.

He couldn't move an inch, eyes darting back and forth from Jeno's shoes to the gravel. Before he knows it, Jeno is walking closer to him, standing tall and blocking out the sunlight from hitting his face.

He doesn't know what to say.

Should he apologize? Should he hug him tightly and tell him that he misses him so, so much? Should he—

His thoughts are cut off abruptly when he feels himself getting pulled in the other boy's embrace. His breath gets stolen away all over again as the feeling of Jeno's arms wrapped firmly around him brings a wave of overwhelming amount of happiness.

"Jeno?" He finally speaks up, arms hesitantly rounding themselves around Jeno's waist, wanting to feel more and more of him. The scent coming from the other boy is driving him crazy — everything about Jeno is overwhelming him to the point that all his thoughts are pointed to him now.

"Am I still allowed to say I miss you?" Jeno's voice sounds muffled as he buries his face in Renjun's hair, arms tightening around his tiny frame. His heart starts beating wildly against his chest and his knees are going weaker and weaker.

"I think so." He breathes out and there's that soft, tinkling laugh that leaves Jeno's lips. The beautiful laugh that he loves and misses more than anything else in this world. He couldn't help but tighten his hold around his waist as well, burying his face on his shoulder.

"I missed you."

"Me too," Renjun whispers, voice low and though he can't see the other boy, he knows that he's smiling wide, "I missed you too."

-

"So, how did you coincidentally appear in the same amusement park that I'm in?" Renjun swings his legs lightly while Jeno rests his head against his shoulder, sipping on some iced coffee. They're sitting on the bench, which is thankfully underneath the shade of a tree.

"Fate," Jeno nonchalantly replies, pretending to sip on his cup again while Renjun stares at him, unamused. Jeno finally turns his head and flashes a smile at him, eyes crinkling.

"Kidding. I asked Hyuck and Nana to bring you here."

"You could have just called me or texted me." Jeno quiets down, staring at the ice cubes melting as he gazes at the ice-cold coffee. He cracks a sad smile before sparing Renjun a glance.

"I was scared that you might not want to talk to me after, you know." He winces slightly before his lips curled down to resemble a frown. Renjun gazes at him with knitted brows before leaning in to press a kiss on his cheek, just a very soft and light kiss but even then, his heart jumps in his chest. He doesn't have to steal a second look to see the small smile that graces Jeno's lips upon receiving the kiss.

"That'll never happen," He reaches out to intertwine their fingers together tightly and Jeno doesn't seem to mind — his smile actually becomes wider and his eyes light up at the contact. Renjun can feel his heart stumble out of his rib cage and fall back on his feet at the sight of a bright Jeno.

Their gazes meet in a split second and both of them are sporting the sweetest smiles as Renjun lightly squeezes his hand in his hold. Jeno blushes before tearing his gaze, going over to the wild rides set before them.

"Let's make a bet," Jeno pulls on his hand and stands up, throwing away the empty cup in the trash bin nearby while Renjun arches a brow at him, "whoever screams the loudest in the rollercoaster wins."

"Does the winner get a prize?" Renjun flashes him a cheeky smile while Jeno pursues his lips in a thin line, contemplating.

"A kiss?"

"Ugh, lame."

"Fine, the loser has to treat the winner for any kind of food that he wants."

"Finally, we're talking!" Jeno lets out a yelp as Renjun excitedly pulls him down the pathway leading up to the line for the rollercoaster, laughing all too loudly as the sun beams down at them.

(Jeno is shaking the moment they got on and Renjun brushes it off as him getting nervous and excited. It only seems to be the former since he has to grip Renjun's hand, already ready to scream even when the rollercoaster is only starting to ascend to the top.

Renjun decides that Jeno is the winner, after seeing him get so dizzy after riding the rollercoaster and screaming his head off, practically stumbling off the ride before rushing over to the nearest trash can in sight.)

-

"God, finally, that's over. Worst fucking experience of my life." Jeno says loudly, earning a dirty look from a nearby mother with her kid. Renjun covers his mouth as he giggles, seeing how Jeno immediately notices it, cheeks flushed as he throws a hurried apology at them. He can feel the brown-haired male's fingers circle around his wrist and drags him along with Renjun still trying to stifle his laughter.

They walk down the pathway, steps in sync with each other. Renjun notices it and elicits a laugh, pressing himself against Jeno's side. He lays his head on the taller boy's shoulder, letting a sigh of contentment spills from his lips easily.

"That wasn't so bad." Renjun nonchalantly brings it up and Jeno throws him a look of disbelief, shaking his head before choosing to drop his hold on Renjun's wrist, tugging him close to wrap an arm around his shoulders instead. He willingly accepts it, arms winding around the brown-haired boy's waist in a strong grip.

"It was horrible," Jeno raises his water bottle, tipping it back so he can take a sip before arching a brow at Renjun, "Remind me to never ride another wild ride with you ever ag—"

"Look, a pirate ship!"

"Oh, dear god."

-

"Second worst damn experience of my life," Renjun watches him heave a deep sigh, falling into a nearby bench, looking already so exhausted after screaming his head off after so long.

"You're censoring your curse words now?" Jeno groans and juts out his lower lip into a pout at him, wrinkling his nose.

"I have to. I don't want anyone to glare at me again."

Renjun grins, pulling off his cap and takes his seat next to Jeno, putting it on top of his brown hair carelessly before letting the other boy rest his head on his lap. Jeno stretches his body, taking more than half of the space on the bench but Renjun doesn't mind — it feels nice to have the brown-haired boy laying on his lap comfortably like this.

"Where do you think Nana and Hyuck went off to?"

"Probably riding some rides now? Or Hyuck is trying to buy the whole stall of plushies for Jaemin."

"Again?" Jeno stares up at him in disbelief and Renjun shrugs, curling his lips into a wide smile.

"He's whipped for Jaemin, anyway. I'm not surprised."

"Yeah, well, Nana did try to buy a whole vinyl records store for Hyuck before..."

"Whipped." Jeno makes a sound of agreement and Renjun glances down briefly, noticing the blindingly beautiful smile that the other boy offers to him. Their fingers intertwine in a loose grip and Jeno stares down at their hands with a small smile.

"I would do the same, you know. Buy you a star or something."

"That's cute, Jeno."

"I would love to buy you a whole sky of stars!" Jeno gestures to the vast blue skies above them, using their intertwined hands to point out random spots as if he's trying to map out different kinds of constellations.

"So, whenever you miss me, you can just look at the stars and think of me. Just like what I do whenever I see the night sky. I wish for you to stay." His voice trails off into a whisper at the last sentence, a wistful smile on his lips. Renjun blinks once, twice and the ache is back in his heart.

How many times did Jeno stare at the night sky and wished to the stars that Renjun would stay?

Jeno shakes his head and Renjun snaps out his train of thoughts, catching sight of Jeno's bright smile. He sits up and takes off the cap to smoothen out the tangles in his hair with a hand, running his fingers through the dry strands. He hands the cap back to Renjun before holding his hand again, pulling him up from the bench.

"Let's ride the ferris wheel and cuddle?" Renjun's cheeks burn, tearing his gaze away from a laughing Jeno, mumbling.

"Sounds cheesy." Jeno doesn't answer at first and Renjun glances up, meeting his eyes. They're crinkled as he smiles so, so widely, the happiness evident on his features.

"You like cheesy things." Jeno drags him down the path, talking about how they should grab a bite then wait for the night to settle in _since it's more romantic to ride it while cuddling, right?_

Renjun hits his shoulder, blushing hard but he doesn't argue back, the smile only lingering on the edges of his mouth.

-

Jeno isn't wrong though.

The night sky seems to burst into millions of constellations, leaving behind a heavenly trail of cosmic beauty that's absolutely breathtaking. Renjun never expected the night to look this beautiful but as he stares up at the stars twinkling beneath the clouds, waves of happiness crash in him simultaneously.

He can feel Jeno shifting just a little bit, scooting closer and before he knows it, their fingers intertwine, the spaces of their hands filled up perfectly. Renjun gives his hand a gentle squeeze, a thumb running across his knuckle before he turns his head, sparing Jeno a smile and leaning against the seat afterwards. He rests his head on his shoulder, the shuffling of shoes resounding against the metal is both comforting and familiar, now that Jeno is pressed up against him.

"Did you notice?"

"Hm?"

"The stars seem to shine brighter when you're around." A laugh spills easily from Renjun's lips, cheeks burning as he buries his face on his shoulder to hide his reddened face.

"Why are you so romantic and cheesy nowadays?" Jeno stays quiet, a subtle smile tugging on the corners of his lips as he rests his cheek against the top of Renjun's head, heaving a satisfied sigh at the feeling of happiness bursting within their chests.

"It's not hard to be like this around you. It just comes out naturally." Jeno speaks in a low volume, as if he says anything in a louder voice, the night will collapse and crumble away. It's better like this, quiet and content with Renjun — the seconds stretching as long as they can to give the boys a little more time.

"I feel like I can spend an eternity just talking about how wonderful you are." Renjun can't help but crack a smile at his words, eliciting a soft chuckle as he pulls his face away from the brown-haired boy's shoulder, sporting a wide smile on his lips before his gaze drops to their shoes.

"What did I ever do to deserve you?" Renjun's voice is quiet, too quiet that Jeno almost misses the words that escaped past his parted lips. He blinks, staring down at the tinier boy before he leans in to drop a kiss on his forehead affectionately. Renjun's lips curl up immediately in response, still keeping his eyes down.

It's like an unspoken agreement between them to not bring up anything related to Renjun walking out soon. About Renjun leaving one day.

There's no _what ifs_ or _what's going to happen after this?_

Renjun swallows thickly, raising his gaze to meet Jeno's soulful, brown eyes. There's a twinkle still hidden beneath his dark orbs but Jeno seems to keep losing his grip on it, fingers already starting to pull away and completely lose every bit of sparkle.

"I'm the one who should be saying that." Jeno flashes him a smile, a sincere smile that reaches his eyes. Renjun tries his best to mirror his expression before he sinks his arms, searching for the familiar and comforting warmth radiating from the other boy. Jeno's arms wind themselves out of habit around Renjun's delicate frame but he keeps a good distance away, just enough to keep his face close to Renjun's.

There's a stretch of silence — a deep breath. A single heartbeat.

Jeno's lips are sweet, incredibly sweet that Renjun loses himself immediately, falling for him all over again just like the very first time. He falls for him through every stretch of time and space, every known dimension and he tightens his arms around him — wanting to never lose his grip on the brown-haired boy no matter what.

When they pull away, Jeno rests his forehead against his, a smile slowly growing on the edges of his mouth. Renjun can't help but laugh, a very quiet laugh before he pulls him down for another breathtaking kiss.

Jeno doesn't pull away.

Neither does Renjun.

-

_DAY 090._

**Jeno [00:34]:** hey injun  
**Jeno [00:35]:** i miss you  
**Renjun [00:36]:** i know  
**Renjun [00:36]:** i miss you even more

 **Jeno** **[00:36]:** please don't leave me  
**! Message Not Sent**

 **Jeno** **[00:36]:** it'll hurt so much if you leave me  
**! Message Not Sent**

 **Jeno** **[00:37]:** stay with me please  
**! Message Not Sent**

 **Jeno** **[00:43]:** i can't wait to see you again :)  
**Renjun** **[00:44]:** me too, jeno

-

 _DAY_ _095._

 **Renjun** **[02:45]:** jeno do you want me to stay?  
**! Message Not Sent**

 **Renjun** **[02:45]:** i don't want to leave you  
**! Message Not Sent**

 **Renjun** **[02:48]:** good night jeno i'll see you tomorrow  
**Jeno** **[02:50]:** good night, sweet dreams!

-

_DAY 099._

**Jeno** **[22:21]:** please don't leave, i'm not ready to see you leave  
**! Message Not Sent**

 **Jeno** **[22:22]:** hey wanna come over? i miss you

 **Renjun** **[22:23]:** i don't want to leave you, i'm going to miss you so much  
**! Message Not Sent**

 **Renjun** **[22:24]:** sure, i'll be there in five

-

 _DAY_ _100._

Jeno looks awfully peaceful beside him, so peaceful that even breathing is hard for Renjun right now. He's afraid that if he moves, Jeno will wake up and he doesn't want that. 

He swallows thickly, a sad smile playing on his lips as the tip of his finger slowly traces out the features of the sleeping boy, drawing each curve and dip in the air between them. He wants to burn this memory deep within his head so every time his eyes fall shut at night, he'll remember Jeno's arms wrapped around him tightly and simply falling asleep together.

Today is Jeno's performance and the ache burns even more in Renjun's chest. He won't be able to see Jeno dance on the stage and take his breath away because he'll be on his flight back to his home country. Somehow, the thought of never seeing the satisfied smile playing on Jeno's lips once he effortlessly execute his solo dance later hurts too much.

He wants to stay, more than anything else in the world. But Jeno never asked him to.

Nor did he say that they'll make it work.

Renjun cracks a smile at the irony — here he was, at the start of summer, thinking that no one would be able to steal his breath away and make his heart beat crazily. It looks like fate played her cards well, using a summer kind of love to prove him wrong.

Renjun, as much as he wants to stay longer, pulls away, heart beating beneath his rib cage as he slowly rolls out of Jeno's arms. He's tempted to keep Jeno's white and red hoodie but he knows that he can't — it's not entirely healthy either to keep something from someone whose heart is breaking because of you.

He sits on the edge of the bed, facing the window and watching the sun rise over the horizon, a breathtaking sight. He smiles softly, wishing that Jeno is awake to see this magnificent beauty too.

He got the first part of his wish.

"Injun?" Renjun stiffens, hands stilling around the extra shirt that he brought. He turns around, seeing Jeno with half of his face buried in the sheets, peeking at him with a slight frown on the edges of his mouth. Renjun stares at him only, not daring to open his mouth to let the words flow out as he turns around once again, back facing Jeno as he slips out of the hoodie and slip into the shirt in a blink of an eye.

Jeno has fallen silent too so Renjun thought that he fell asleep again but when he steals a glance, he sees Jeno wide awake, hair sticking out and gazing at him with such a saddened expression that it hurts to stare at it for too long.

"So, this is it." Renjun's teeth involuntarily sinks down on his lower lip as he hurriedly runs a hand through his hair to smoothen out the tangles. He finally turns on his heel, meeting Jeno's eyes and heaving a deep, shaky sigh.

"This is it."

Maybe it's because he expected for Jeno to make a last minute decision and beg him to stay. Stay a little longer. Stay with him for as long as time will allow. Maybe that's why he still feels weak, feet not daring to move away from their place on the wooden floor.

But Jeno never says anything, eyes simply dropping to the sheets as he sits him, shirt crumpled and his hair a complete mess. Even then, he's beautiful — tragically beautiful even though he has a broken heart.

"I'll miss you," Renjun whispers, voice too low but the room is too silent so the words bounce off every corner of the room, echoing within the four walls. Jeno pursues his lips in a thin line and flashes a weak smile at him, nodding his head slowly.

"Me too."

Renjun hesitates, just for a moment, searching for any sign that he should stay. But he never gets it.

The walk out of the room and down the stairs is awfully long, head spinning from too many thoughts. His feet feel heavier with each step that he takes towards the front door — desperately hoping that Jeno will call him back and tell him that he wants the other boy to stay.

_Do you want to stay?_

_Do you want to stay even though you've been working so hard to get into one of your dream universities?_

_Are you willing to leave that all behind for him?_

Renjun cracks a sad smile, hand turning the doorknob. He pushes the door open and his heart aches to see Donghyuck already coming out of his own house, looking exhausted and drained as he helps drag Renjun's suitcase and backpack. He quietly shuts the door behind him, feet rushing down the steps before Donghyuck meets him half-way, throwing a sad smile at him and wraps an arm around his figure.

As they walk down the sidewalk to make their way back to the house where his parents are staying at, Renjun spares Jeno's house a brief glance.

Even when he doesn't say his answers out loud to his own questions, he knows them already by heart.

He's not really strong enough to stay for him.

—

_Jeno._

The ache through his body after performing is supposed to be an exhilarating feeling running through his veins but instead, it left him more exhausted than usual. He can barely lift the corners of his mouth to resemble a smile as his teammates congratulated him for perfectly executing his solo dance. His solo is the one move that pushed them to be the champions of the competition, a burst of happiness exploding within his chest as he receives the trophy.

But the happiness fades almost immediately as the thought of Renjun not around slips through his mind again. His cheeks still burn as the heat presses down on him, wiping away the beads of sweat that formed on his forehead with a towel, dragging his feet to the dressing room. He wants to go home so bad but where is his home now that Renjun left?

"Hey," Jaemin greets him with a wide, proud smile playing on his lips. Donghyuck pops in from behind him, holding out pretty flowers carefully wrapped in a bouquet.

"You looked really cool out there!" Donghyuck is excited, a bounce in his steps as he approaches Jeno, eagerly handing the bouquet to him. Jeno stays silent, smiling slightly but he's quick to notice how red and puffy Donghyuck's eyes are, as if he's been crying so hard before. He swallows thickly, knowing the exact reason why.

"Thank you, guys. It means so much that you came here." Jeno's voice is quiet, a little hoarse as he clears his throat, putting the bouquet next to his black backpack. Jaemin and Donghyuck both fall silent as they stay near him, eyebrows furrowed in worry and lips pursued into a thin line.

"Are you okay, Jen?"

"I am," Jeno's voice wavers, just a little bit. His eyes fall shut, pushing all his thoughts out as best as he can before his eyes flutter open once again to flash a reassuring smile at them.

"I'm fine, don't worry."

-

The ache is stronger as he pushes through the door. The house is strangely quiet and Jeno feels the frustration and sadness build up inside of him, running up the steps of the staircase, the sounds of his sneakers resounding against the wood.

His parents are still out, probably preparing a big gift for him since he's moving to the university dorms real soon and he won today's competition. He swallows his emotions, pushing everything down but he's stopped short when he sees something neatly tucked on top of his bed.

A gift.

He flips the switch of the light, illuminating the room in a bright flash before he approaches it slowly. Did his parents drop it off as a surprise? Another gift from them?

He blinks, grabbing hold of the box and gently unwraps the bow, taking it off in one swift motion and lifts the top. A sketchbook stares back at him and his brows arch in surprise.

He doesn't have any interest in art. Why would his parents get him—

_Oh._

He swallows once more, finding it hard to push down the lump in his throat as his hands start shaking, almost dropping the box. He takes a seat on the edge of his bed, his fingers wrapping around the sides of the sketchbook and lifts it up, dropping the box carelessly on the floor.

His hand grazes along the cover and he can't help but feel a smile tug on the corners of his lips. Maybe he can spin his imagination to the point that he'll see Renjun sitting on a chair, bend over the desk late at night, concentrating hard to sketch out his drawings with his pencil.

He flips it open to the first page and his heart drops to his feet at the sight of Renjun's handwriting on the center.

_For the boy who shines so brightly. I'll always remember the galaxies and constellations swirling in your eyes and how your smile can light up the entire world._

He scans through each page — drawings and drawings of Jeno laid out, perfectly sketched out. He can still see the faint pencil marks on the paper and his heart beats against his rib cage, imagining how Renjun worked so hard in perfecting every detail.

It's beautiful — ethereally beautiful that he finds his breath getting stolen away every time he sees a new sketch on another page. There are tiny notes written at the corner, describing his pure adoration for Jeno and Jeno only.

He hesitates as his finger brushes against the last page. He flips it and finds himself staring at a small note written at the bottom right corner, barely noticeable at first. He gazes down at it and the ache is back in his heart, his chest constricting as he tries to breathe.

But even breathing hurts.

_I wish I was strong enough to stay. Maybe we'll meet again soon._

_I really hope that happens._

—

_Renjun._

_DAY_ _001._

"Asshole, you really think you can come back here without me knowing?" Renjun rolls his eyes but he ends up laughing as Donghyuck approaches him with a whine, embracing him tightly. He planned to not tell Donghyuck that he's coming back this summer to surprise him but of course, everything has to get spoiled again.

"Who told you I was coming back today?" Renjun rolls his suitcase, the strap of his backpack hanging over his shoulder carelessly. Donghyuck flashes him a bright smile, hooking their arms together as they walk out of the airport.

"Your roommates, obviously. Who was it again — Chenle? Or Yukhei?" Renjun crinkles his nose, huffing lowly. Of course, those two would team up just so they can ruin Renjun's surprise to his best friend.

"I'm not surprised."

"Hey, be grateful! At least the first person you see once you come back here is me. You're so blessed, I know."

"Technically, it's not you—"

"You get what I mean!" Donghyuck starts dragging him to the car, clearly excited that they can spend another summer together. Renjun almost stumbles, whining that the sun-kissed boy should slow down a bit or else, he'll trip.

"Maybe try growing longer legs next time, Jun."

Renjun thinks Donghyuck deserves that hard kick on his legs.

-

"What's up with you and Jaemin?" Renjun rolls his suitcase up the stairs, breathlessly greeting Donghyuck's mom at the top of the stairway before the two boys manage to haul the luggage to the guest room. It seems that Donghyuck's parents decided to spend their summer here and skip out on their business trip that nearly lasts for a whole summer.

"He's still sweet as always. Pretty sure that his university is thinking that I'm a student there already since I kept trying to visit him whenever he practices."

"Whipped." Renjun nonchalantly replies, earning a smack on his shoulder. He whines, rubbing the assaulted spot before he drops the bags on the bed, running a hand through the strands of his hair to smoothen out the tangles.

"Shut up." Donghyuck can't help but curl the corners of his mouth into a bright smile, eyes crinkling. Renjun, despite how he constantly teases how whipped Jaemin and Donghyuck are, finds himself grinning. Their relationship is going so well and they fit each other perfectly like puzzle pieces that are meant to be stuck to each other.

As if on cue, his eyes flicker over to the next house. He really tried his best to remain neutral, face showing no emotions when they drove past the house a moment ago but he can't lie that there's a certain tug on his heartstrings as he glances at the window.

He's not going to lie either — he really kept thinking about Jeno. His bright smile, his melodious laughter, his twinkling eyes, and _Jeno, Jeno, Jeno._

But every time Donghyuck quietly brings him up during one of their phone calls or when his friends casually throw his name into the conversation, he pretends it doesn't hurt, simply shrugging his shoulders and saying that it doesn't matter anymore.

It's been a year.

Renjun lets his eyes fall shut, reminiscing the way Jeno looked when he slowly fell asleep next to him last summer — struggling to keep his eyes open, soft whispers of _I want to talk to you more_ before sleep finally takes over their bodies. He doesn't want to admit that during the first week, he just kept repeating that memory in his head as if it became some sort of broken record in his mind.

"Heard that he moved back for this summer too." Donghyuck's voice is cautious, soft, as if he's afraid that Renjun might burst spontaneously if he speaks too loudly and too fast. Renjun cracks a small smile despite the heavy feeling residing in his chest, eyes fluttering open. Donghyuck is staring at him with furrowed eyebrows, clearly worried at his reaction.

"So, he's still around?"

"Yeah."

There's a stretch of heavy silence as Renjun lets his gaze linger on the house. He finds himself smiling a little wider as he heaves a sigh, meeting Donghyuck's gaze once more.

"I should go and greet him, you know? Be a good neighbor and be his friend."

Donghyuck eyes him, the hesitation is clear and evident on his expression.

"Are you sure?" Renjun lets out a sigh before he nods.

Once, twice.

"Yes."

-

The heat is unbearable and comfortable, just like the last time he was here. It's heavy and it's pressing down on him on all sides as he walks up to the brown familiar door. The smell of the gold paint doesn't linger in the air anymore but for some reason, Renjun misses it.

His legs are shaking, the nervousness settling within his bones as he stands in front of the door. He takes a deep breath, just to calm himself as he presses the doorbell. There's a sound of feet padding against the wooden floor and a muffled voice before the door swings open.

All the words die on Renjun's lips as soon as he sees him.

"Hi," Jeno's cheeks are red as the shock registers on his face. He looks taller, broader, and his hair is jet black — highlighting his strong features with a single glance. He's more handsome and he still has the same effect on Renjun, as always.

"Hey," His voice comes out quiet, barely able to meet his dark eyes. He's afraid that he might collapse if their gaze lock on each other's. He's already breathless by just being around his presence.

It's awkward, the atmosphere tilting among so many emotions that's bottled up within them. Renjun lets out a deep sigh, heart hammering against his rib cage. He came so far and his dream finally came true — it's all on him now. He lifts his gaze and he finds himself staring back at Jeno's dark but soft eyes.

There's so many emotions running through his eyes but Renjun, for once, is able to carefully decipher one.

_Love._

"I'm Renjun. I guess I'll be your neighbor for this summer, nice to meet you." He holds a hand out and Jeno stares down at it, swallowing the lump in his throat. With a deep breath, he allows a smile to tug on the corners of his lips, gently holding his hand and gives it a squeeze before letting it go.

"Nice to meet you too, Renjun. The name is Jeno." Jeno's grin reaches his eyes and Renjun can't help but return the smile with one of his own.

"Would you like to hang out with me tomorrow? There's a park near here, I guess we can have a picnic there. I want to get to know you more."

Jeno gazes at him, long and hard.

A stretch of silence — a deep breath. A single heartbeat.

"I would love that."

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! feel free to talk to me in [twitter.](http://twitter.com/jenosaints)


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